Feeling: Eeyore.

:: T H I N G   O N E ::

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend, You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in, And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand The angry boy, a bit too insane, Icing over a secret pain, You know you don't belong. You're the first to fight, you're way too loud, You're the flash of light on a burial shroud, I know something's wrong. Well everyone I know has got a reason, To say, put the past away. I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend, You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in, And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand. Well he's on the table and he's gone to code, And I do not think anyone knows What they are doing here. And your friends have left you, you've been dismissed; I never thought it would come to this, And I, I want you to know, Everyone's got to face down the demons, Maybe today, We can put the past away. I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend, You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in, And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand. Can you put the past away? I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend, I would understand...

:: T H I N G   T W O ::

...If I Died Tonight... LAST... last car ride: Driving Morgan and Colin crazy and around the corner. last kiss: Morgan making out with my cheek last night. last cry: I don't think last night actually produced any tears... Though I would consider it a cry, if only a cry for help. If not that, then the other night. last library book checked out: JD Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye last book read: Same, though it's not finished yet. last beverage drank: 7-up Plus -- mixed berry sugar free seven up of doom. last food consumed: A piece of 12 grain bread. Yum. last crush: Aaron. This one night I went to bed high on him after nothing but a stupid IM conversation. last phone call: Mom just called. I guess she's doing all right. last movie watched: Donnie Darko director's cut in the U-district at midnight last night. Good movie, good times... last tv show watched: Degrassi. last shoes worn: Cheap fake converse with a little heart with wings I drew on with pastels. last song heard: Jumper by Third Eye Blind in continuous loop. last annoyance: Morgan telling me not to flirt with Colin. last disappointment: Morgan telling me I'm not really her close friend. last thing written: The lyrics to Jumper / Emails trying to talk to an old close friend... The only other I thought I had. last word spoken: Goodnight. last sleep: 4:30-7am this morning. last time in love: Never. Never will be. I love everyone. Being in love is different and I don't think I am capable of it. last time hugged: Today when saying goodbye to Morgan. last chair sat in: One-armed computer chair. last lipstick used: Red marker. I gothified myself last night. last underwear worn: Grannie panties and proud. last bra worn: Dunno, some crappy Fred Meyer number. last shirt worn: Big huge giant grey plaid men's smoking jacket (complete with pipe... hehe) last time dancing: Probably the night before last, though I can't remember. last place you went?: That wasn't returning: to the U-district to see Donnie Darko. Then back to Morgan's house, then back home. last person who made you smile: Colin last person you talked to in person? My grandma. last person who said they love you: Mom, I think. last person you met? The drummer chick and the junior with the pink emo tear cheeks. last person you fought with? Dana. last person who made you cry? Myself, over Morgan and Dana. last person who made you mad? Myself, I say stupid things and make people hate me. last person you kissed? Mom, over the phone. Or Morgan's head. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE... pretty: Sometimes funny: I don't mean to be, but yeah. hot: When it's too sunny... friendly: I try, but it always comes out wrong. loveable: Everyone is lovable. I just wonder sometimes if I am loved. pessimistic: Only on Wednesdays or when asked about the future of my nonexistant band. optimistic: Yes, but not for long. caring: So much Too much. sweet: I wish. Boys are sweet. dorky: I would like to be moreso. IN THE LAST 24 HOURS.. Cried: I'm about to start... Bought something? Nope, but I got a movie ticket and popcorn bought for me :-D Sang? Always. Felt stupid? A few times. Met someone new? Unless you count Guy Who Asked About Jagermeister Bottle, no. Talked to an ex? Heh, funny you'd ask, I was just about to IM him. Missed an ex? I would like to have someone to take out my affection on, but no. Really all I need is an outlet for my overabundance of love. Had a serious talk? I tried... I wanted to. Morgan decided she didn't think I was close enough. Missed someone? Dana, Morgan, the usual... Adema's "Close Friends" sort of stuff... Hugged someone? Morgan and Colin and Jordan - oh my. Current Mood: Eeyore. HOW... do you want to be remembered? As someone who cared, who loved, who laughed, who made the world better, who created, who took in, who saw things as they truly are and as no one had seen them before. will you be remembered? As that strange fat chick with the creepy laugh. will you divide your stuff? Morgan gets everything she wants, mom gets everything she wants, they rock-paper-scissor for what they both want, Johnny and Catie each get a guitar, mom gets one of Morgan's hamsters, somehow. do you want to die? Hanging over a roaring fire, after being condemned for crimes against humanity that the higher human authorities did not realize were truly the beginnings of a beautiful turnaround to make this world better. will you die? Probably from all that sleeping in the middle of the street I like to do...