(I'm sure no one reads this thing anymore, but I had to post it everywhere I could, for my own sanity. If you read this, please comment, if only to say you were here) I hate this fucking mental illness. The rage. The tears. I'm your daughter, not your therapist. You don't have a therapist. You fired your doctors, you stopped taking your medication. Now you want to sue them for taking your life away? You can claim all you want that we haven't had a relationship, that's not true. And I'm just waiting for you to realize that. I WANT MY MOTHER BACK. The pills aren't helping. They have in the past. I know they will. You need to have some faith. In yourself, in the world, in me. I don't care what kind of faith it is. Stop threatening to kill yourself. I know I don't cry as much as you. But I still do. A lot. Made me start smoking, start drinking. All I want now is to drop out of school and become a junkie. I can't handle your emotional distress. I know how much worse it must be for you. Why can't you see that we're all here for you? The whole family is trying to help you through this. "They" didn't ruin your life. Mental illness ruined your life. You have schizophrenia. It will always be hard. But Mama, you've got to be stronger than that. You've always been there for me, and I'm here for you. But I'm scared. And I'm hurt. And without you, I have nobody to turn to with this. I need you to come back to me. I need you to be okay. I love you. Please stop being so angry.