I can't help but cry as Stephen doesn't come home. I know that I can no longer expect him to care about my happiness. But I miss him so much. I know that this is all my fault, I really fucked up, but I still love him and always will. When he suggested that we go our own ways, at first it seemed like a good idea but the more I think about the more I realize that I need him. Malachi you are right I am extremely depressed about Stephen and jelous. He is so happy when he talks to Kelly and he never lets her down. Part of me hopes that they are happy together. He deserves happiness after all that he has been through. And I can't keep him knowing that he would be happier in her arms. I hate it but it is the truth. So I guess I learn to move on through the tears. I hate this feeling on not knowing who I can trust. I know that you said that I could only trust myself, but how can you stand not having anyone you can go to when things get really bad. Especially when compared to your problems mine seem so vain, and so petty. I trust Michele, she doesn't seem to be starting any of this crap. My thoughts are so jumbled and my hope is once again lost. The ones I was sure I could trust are the ones who hurt me the worst. I just wanted everyone to be happy, and instead they collar me. The await for me to show some weakness, a time when the can steal it all away from me. The scary thing is I am not that I would care if she took it all right now. The only thing keeping me from giving up is that there are people relying on the power and I am not sure that if she had it she would use it to save us. I am afraid she would let us all down. For you I fight, for all of you I will fight.