Just another holiday determined by this killing religion. Another chance to be forced to see your family, and be reminded that you don't fit in. That you don't belong anywhere. I see spring, and there are brief moments of hope. Beltaine is coming up in a couple of weeks, and I intend to do something for it, to let the powers know that I am thinking about them. I don't know what thought. It is a time for friends, and fun, but I seem to be lacking in that. I almost did something really stupid last night. Almost went off with some random guy who IMed me to have sex. Don't know him, never met him, he's older than me, but for a minute I would have been warm, almost did something stupid last night, and the night before. How much longer before I do. Sex is such an easy solution, there is the loss of pain, a second when the world disappears. Sex and alchol can solve all the problems of this instant. It's amazing what we will do for a chance at warmth. I have a new home- deviantart.com I have some work there, can you guess where, no I'm not going to tell you that would be too easy. Well I am done rambling for today, atleast you have a little to read today Amanda.