Ghost and I have often been called twins, and to a certain extent its true. It so many ways we are the same person. We feel when the other is in trouble or in the midst of strong emotion, thats how strong our bond is. And yet I haven't talked to her in over six months, no even longer than that, its pushing a year. Yeah, the person that I feel the closest to has turned her back on me. There has been so many times that I just wanted to talk to her, but I don't even have her new phone number. I just wish that I could see her face again. Its kind of odd because I love her too, which only gives the pain more precision in cutting me. Even thought we are so similar, we are also complete opposites. While I need to have people close to me, and when I get afraid I try to hold them tighter, she pushes them away, as far away as she can when she's scared. Her hair is a mass of large curls while mine has slight waves and tiny curls. We both get hyper but she bounces off the walls (really she does) while I talk and flirt. She's always devoted to a cause while I can never decied what to do. She draws while I write (okay she writes too, but not like I do). And the problem in all of this, the fact that we share a love for the same man, Mythril. And I am losing the battle, not that I ever meant for it to be a battle. No, she declared that she would never speak to him again, and well he kissed me and made if very clear that he was interest. Unfortanly he's only interested when there is no one else, I have become the other woman. And what I wonder is if there will ever be a chance for us to be 'together' to be an item or whatever you call it now. Should I say something? Or should I sustain this silence that I have sustained for four years. And I hit myself for ever trying to get them togther, and for all the work keeping them together. Why didn't I listen to my heart, why wasn't I a little more selfish. Because I love her, and I wanted her to know that. Oh there is one solution to all this, but that would require her speaking to me again. And even that I am not sure would work. The word is that they are totally seperated, but who knows. She can be like this, always pushing away that which she loves. I am moving down to where he lives in 59 days, and should I wait until then to tell him how much I want him. How much I truly love him, or should I assume that he will never be true to me and forget ever having him as my own. Please all of you ppl out there help me, or atleast throw water at me to wake me from this delusion of happiness. I don't want to fall back into the darkness but I feel it coming on, is there any hope? Well?