I feel as though I am being tossed between what I want and what I need. I like spending time with my friends but it is slowly driving me crazy. As Stephen said there is such darkness among them and I struggle to hold onto the light within. I was once warned to never go against my nature. And yet still I wonder who I can trust. I have seen people who can lie so easily and smootly, they tell me I can trust them...but is it all a lie. I think I am going to take some time and just be by myself. I probably won't go to the party Friday night, I have this terrible feelin that something horrid will happen if there is a party, and I don't want to be there if everyone falls. I would tear me to pieces. I am not sure how many people know that I am empathic and that I absorb all the emotions around me. Thats the real reason I went home last night. Everyone was in pain, and Malachi you were so angry and self accusing. It was breaking down my defenses and I didn't want you to see me cry again. It was all I could do to hold back the tears on the phone last night. I never meant to hurt you, I never mean to hurt anyone but I do. If anyone wishes to speak with me during my selfimposed exile you may call me.... I guess I will leave these thoughts alone for now. With Crimson Tears.