You've seen me torture myself, continually pick up those razorblades again, and I am sure you all shook your heads and wondered when I would finally do it. When I would pass into the darkness, when that last breath would come. When all hope would die. But, then you notice that something happens just when I am about to fall a hand reaches out and catches me, and you exhale the moment ends and life continues. But, still you know that it never lasts that I always walk back towards that cliff, do the stupid thing and go back to the place of my future death. You scream for me not to leave my hope, not to continue towards the rocks, but after a while you run out of breath and you lose hope in me. But, I have back away again, the same cycle, is there hope. An old friend, or maybe I can only call him an old aquaintence, a friend of a friend. Someone that I never quite knew, but someone who when all else fails rides in on a black Mustang and holds my hand again. Another who would see me not fall, someone who I want to finally not fuck up. I want to be the good girl again (in the necessary ways) I will turn 21 in 37 hours, a birthday is a new year, a new beginning and I must take advantage of it. No more of this shit about letting the collar pull me back. I must find my freedom. And it that thougths here is another version. A new voice in the darkness To haunt this ghost Tempt her with shattered dreams A new reason to weep Amazement The tears are not unseen A cunning angel A kind demon To create new rifts Sanity without reason Tightness that spreads Hope for the moments Doodles of the past Etchted with fresh fire Empath to empath A new chance New fears Trying to hide the darkness From one who's lived through the abyss And survived its demons To kiss me