always so fucking sorry, but when I need someone they always have to go, always so fucking sorry, but so much better stuff to do, they have a life, and they wish they could help but its just not possible, oh look at the poor butterfly with torn wings unable to fly, but you can't save them all, you are the one who taught me that sometimes you just have to watch them die in response to you have to help yourself, perception is 90% of reality: fuck perception you watch me in pain and tell me it is my fucking fault i am in pain because no one will take the time to fucking talk to me because i am continously alone because everytim i call anyone i get blown off you all want a new life, and i am part of the old life so i must go away, you love me, but you can't be reminded of what things could have been. No, I don't really feel good, I feel violent want to see things bleed, make everyone else feel this pain, and I just get it thrown in my face. Having a bad day and no one has time for me. And they wonder why I feel so isolated. I am so fucking pissed, and lonely right now that I seriously just want it to end at any cost. Any cost. If I wasn't a coward..... And now I am fucking crying, I don't want to cry anymore, I want to bleed, bleed until it all goes away.