In this I guess I specifically mean Luke. I have to say these things, because I am too much of a coward to say them out loud. I was happy, I was actually happy, when I didn't think I would ever know happiness or love again. And for that I thank you. But now there are more important things that I have to do. I am going to study and not mess with men and sex for the next couple of months. And if you think you know me well enough go ahead and pretend to read between the lines. I am tired, of the fighting and the running. I can't live this kind of life, its not being a snob to want someone who has a stable life is it. Maybe if we all get our crap together we could try again but for now...There are others out there who I have tried to show unwavering loyalty to and to them I say that I will never break your trust but I can't keep pretending that everthing is okay, its not. You guys ran, and I will not allow myself to fall into that life. I'm sorry. I wasn't kidding when I said that I intend to leave all of this behind, maybe I am running but I don't care I am going to do. When I leave for school I don't want anyone coming with me. I want to start a new life away from all this drama. And I don't want to hear about how you want to fight each other either. If it was up to me I would just shackle you all in the same room and make you talk it out, but I fear it has gone to far for anything good to come out of it. I am sorry for those I will hurt by leaving, but for the first time in my life I am going to be selfish and think of myself first. I can't be around your guys for much longer without it killing a part of me. Just know that I go under the protection of my Samurai when I leave this place and be happy that I am safe. But be not saddened, for I don't not leave for three months, and I intend to enjoy my time here.