Ugh I can't stand guys anymore their such pains in the ass. If Shaun doesn't change his attitude I'm leaving him for Ron. And Jim is all pissed off about it yet he claims he doesn't love me anymore so I don't know what his fucking deal is. I mean he loves other girls...gets shit from other girls...but when it comes to me and Ron he gets all pissed off. Telling me I'm ruining my life and that I'm going to wind up being pregnant. Well let me tell you this Jim...you don't like the fact of me being with Ron whenever I am...well guess what I didn't like the fact that you made up some bullshit relationship with Alex when you were really going back out with Kristen so tough fucking shit deal with it. If you don't like me so much then don't fucking talk to me anymore. At least I stuck to my half of the promise...that I would never stop loving you and I haven't...but you...you keep going on and off with it constantly. And talk about ruining lives...you're ruining your own fucking life by doing pot you dumbass so don't tell me I'm ruining my life. And I could care less if that girl Steph is hotter than me or not...looks shouldn't fucking matter but your a typical guy so whatever...you're still the hottest guy in my eyes but whatever it doesn't fucking matter anymore. Don't bitch at me about this whole shit it's your fucking fault you're the one who fucking left me in October for some other girl and told me that we will get back together soon...what happens...we never did get back together. So you bitching about Ron is fucking pathetic cause I have twice as much shit to bitch about the things you do. I have never even fucking met you yet Jim and you think that I'm just going to run my life the way you want no sorry that's not happening. And don't keep telling me you're going to come down and see me cause I know that's never going to happen. You changed more than I have. Apparently the life that we were planning to have together isn't going to happen...why?...because of you...not me...you. You're the one who chose it to happen. Yet after all the bullshit and fights we have been through in the past 2 years...I still fucking love you...never did I stop...never will I stop. This is how I choose to live my life just like how you chose to live yours. You're the asshole in this situation...I've always been there for you...unlike you, you would always walk out of my life whenever you get pissed off at me. I'm not like other girls and apparently you haven't realised that yet. The good times are gone. Exactly why I'm not sure if I should meet you anymore. Now off that subject... I was on the phone with Ron for like probably 3 hours all together. Talking about random shit about our lives and what has been going on lately with friends and shit. I'm going over his house most likely on Thursday if he somehow gets gas money since he's still out of a job. His 18th birthday is on Saturday. He's getting a tattoo...oh dear lol. Boy you got to stay out of trouble...you beating the shit out of people and egging houses tisk tisk. You and your crazy ass ideas lol. I think Megan is coming over later today...hopefully cause I'm bored and we have to come up with our crazy ass plan of getting our asses to Manhattan to see Mike without getting caught by our parents. Supposed to chill with Corey sometime this week too. Well that's it for now so I'm peacing out.