This one year has been a dream come true, we have found something rare and a feeling so new. I’m so glad that we gave this a chance, this relationship has developed into a real romance. You have been here for me when times got rough, comforted me and made sure I stood tough. You have made me feel things that I never felt before, which makes me cherish you even more and more. We have been through so much in a short period of time, and the strength of our love will continue to climb. You don’t know how much you mean to me, but let me try to show you and maybe you’ll see. I don’t ever want to say goodbye and let you go, cause what happens in the future we’ll never know. I honestly believe that we were really meant to be, I’ll find out when the day comes when you get down on one knee. I love you Jim and I always will, no matter what happens...know that I’ll love you still. At times when things get rough, I’ll be there to make sure you stand tough. When you are scared and full of fears, I’ll be the person who cares. When the skies are dark and grey, I’ll try to make the sun find it’s way. When you feel like you want to cry, I’ll make that feeling pass you right by. When you are lonely and alone, I’ll be there to talk to you on the phone. When things are going wrong, I’ll be there to keep you strong. When your life seems to be falling apart, I’ll be there for you with all my heart. How is it possible to find a love so true, in such a short period of time? I haven’t a clue, but what I am certain of is how strong our love has become. I have waited for so long to find my soul mate to set my heart free and believe in a love that can conquer all, and to conceive a frame of mind that cannot be shaken. With your never-ending and unconditional love you have taken me to a place I never knew existed. Before my eyes I see a world begin to emerge; our own paradise for us to be lost in together. All we ever need in this world is each other. How can I ever live without you in my life? To even imagine makes me tremble with fear. After finally finding that missing part of my soul, it would be impossible to take a step backwards. Without you I have no meaning or direction, an endless void of confusion and hopelessness. To lose you would mean losing everything I have to live for, the one thing that keeps me going forward in an otherwise cruel and unforgiving world. I need you more than I ever needed anything else before, and I love you more than I ever thought possible. Since I lost you, there is no sun in my days, there are no stars in my nights. Since I lost you there was darkness surrounding me, no light in my presence. Since I lost you I miss your sweet kisses, but I miss you the most! I really like you. I just want you to know I want you in my life. Never letting you go. From now until forever. If you just give me a chance I'll always be there for you. Right by your side, to love and to guard to protect and guide. There's a place in my heart, where you'll always be for as long as I live and even eternity. You are a good friend who will never be replaced anytime I was feeling down you put a smile on my face. So remember this always to forever be true know in your heart I'll always be with you! I hope you know there is no better feeling then being by your side. The day I met you something clicked in my heart, I got butterflies in my stomach from the very start. My heart told me not to trust again, that I'd get hurt in the long run, but I can already tell your different and our relationship has only just begun. I can tell how much I care for you by the constant smile on my face, or because each time we get closer my heart begins to race. You make me feel special like no one else could. When you first kissed me I thought I would melt, cause your kiss by far was the sweetest thing I had ever felt. Each day my feelings for you continue to grow, how much you mean to me is something I hope you know. Just to let you know, bottled up in my soul. Hidden within my heart, buried in my darkest thoughts, are emotions which can't be fought. Controlling what I feel, my actions, my words, my mind, my actions speak my thoughts, my words express nothing. I try but I can't conceal it, my eyes reveal it all. And deep within your eyes, lies an angel in disguise. I wanna let you know, let my emotions flow. Spill out the words of truth, or write them in the night sky. Among the shining stars, just to let you know I love you! The world doesn't care about the helpless or the hopeless. The people don't react to the bleeding or the crying. We all turn our backs on the needy and each other. We all walk away from the troubles that we don't face. Sometimes I wonder if we can even save the human race. What is it when you're the only person I wake up for? What is it when I can't go a day without hearing your voice? What is it when I can never get tired, bored, sick of you? What is it when I care more about your happiness than my own? What is it when I wouldn't mind waiting 1,000 years or breaking every rule just to be with you? What is it when they tell me I've gone to far? When they say I don't know love. And if this isn't love, what is it? If you look inside a girl's heart, you will see how much she cries. You'll find secrets hidden, best friends and lies. But what you'll see the most, is how hard it is to stay strong, when nothings right and everything is wrong. I am who I am, and if you don't like that, well it's your problem. I say what I want to say, and if you don't like that, well it's your problem. I wear what I want, and if you don't like that, well it's your problem. I have friends who like me for who I am. Not friends who like me because of how I look or what I say and what I wear. If you are a true friend, you'll know what I'm saying. Make sure the friends who say they are your true friends really are. And wear what you want to wear. Say what you want to say and don't worry what others think. It's you who you want to be. Not someone else...and don't let anyone take that away! Outside I'm pretty energetic, inside I'm crying with fear. You can't do anything about it you cannot hear. Outside I like to smile, inside I want to scream. You can't do anything about it I'm not what I may seem. Outside I walk with confidence, inside I want to hide. You can't do anything about it because I won't let out what's inside. I'd wait forever, better yet I'd wait for eternity just to be in your arms. I'd die for you, only you have such an affect on me. But each day that goes by I grow to love the old us even more, while your turning more into a stranger. With true love you could wait longer than ever thought possible, I miss the way it used to be, and wish I could have it all back. I feel like I've lost my baby boy completely. I promised myself that when it was over, I'd laugh at the memories, but here I am, without a smile in sight. I promised myself that I would call you, just to see if you were okay, but here I am I can't even dial your number. I promised myself that when it was over, I would not shed a tear, but here I am shirt almost soaked. I promised myself I would let you go gracefully, but here I am hating myself for letting you leave. I promised myself that when it was over, I wouldn't look back, but here I am unable to look forward. Promised myself I would say "goodbye", but here I am still saying "I love you." Dreams show what you want and can't have. Nightmares show reality and what comes in the future. I can never remember my dreams, but I always remember my nightmares. Believe me you don't want to know what is in my head, some of the shit I see...you could die in bed. I give up on trying to make you see how much you mean to me, cause all I see are memories. You're to good to be true, and me knowing I can't make it without you. Wish I could go back in time, to fix things and make you mine. But each day that passes by, I take a step closer to the edge thinking I could fly. But now I have no faith no hope, knowing you're truly gone I cannot cope. You've grown so far...so far I cannot see, now I know we weren't meant to be, cause if we were then you wouldn't have left me. I held onto you, hoping for the day I say I do. I have now fallen from the edge, if only I could tell you how I fell...I fell for you. Tried to find a better way, but can't get away. Maybe I'm insane walking on the wire, nothing to take me higher. Maybe we're the same, I can't feel my heart but I can feel the shame, soon I'll fade away. I could die I want to be gone, everyone around me is right and I'm wrong. All the same fake people I've got nothing to hold onto, all these faces in my life I realize I'm taking everything. And the shit seems to follow, I think I'll make people die and go away, I see dead bodies everywhere. Everyone is so blind they don't see what's going on, alone I break no place to hide. Everyone is falling away with the push from me, the hope fades while the hatred begins. There is no fear in my eyes, all I see is pain and hatred with a shattered heart, with the never ending flow of blood. There is no help now that you're gone. no one realized that the girl has died, and the killer has arrived. Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They aren't fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them. Disagree with them. Glorify or villify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think htey can change the world, are the ones who do. When all else fails, and all else is wrong, you teach me to hold on, and teach me to be strong. When the world is crashing around me, and tears fill my eyes, you tell me not to worry, and tell me not to cry. When I feel pain, and I feel that I can't survive, you cheer me up, and lift my spirits to the sky. That's why I wanted to tell you, how I love you so much. You always know how to cure me, even if it's just with a simple touch. Have you ever just sat and cried, all because the one you love lied. Have you ever wondered why should I try, when all that boy does is make me cry. Have you ever just played your part, even though you knew he'd been cheating on you from the start. Have you ever loved somebody in every way, to the point you didn't know what to say. Have you ever just came apart, because the one you loved played with your heart. Have you ever wished upon a star, but that wish never went very far. Have you ever laid down at night, and thought why did I start that stupid fight. Have you ever felt used, and all this time been confused. Have you ever felt like giving up, when you had your girls beside you always cheering you up. Are you tired of writing your first name with his last, knowing it will never be. I regret every hurtful lie, I regret the unfaithfulness, I regret the day we said goodbye. I regret not listening to you, I regret for acting like a fool, but I don't regret the day I said yes to go out with you. Never have I once regreted every I love you, cause deep down inside I really still do. But most of all everynight that passes by I grow to want you even more, I miss my baby boy I miss my best friend, when you wanted to come back into my life I kicked you out, why I did that I have no clue, all I know is that I wanna be with you, I don't know what to do to get to you. I don't know how to apologize, cause I know your not gonna believe a word I say for all the times I've lied. It's all my fault, for everything that has happened all because of me, because of how stupid I can be. Baby of all times to actually believe me, believe me now when I say I love you and I'm sorry. I've done the time and pain by pushing you away, hurting myself more each day. I am here and you are there. Only the ground separates us. But as each day goes by, we see the same sun rise and fall, and I know that you will always be there. I'm sorry that I've caused you so much pain, I just pray to god that everything would be back to normal and just be the same. I tried everything I could do, but all that did was make me lose my baby boo, baby all I can say is that I still love you. Why can't it go back to the way it used to be, back when we were free, when we had our first memory. My love for you grows more each day, I'm not sure what to say, but after all the hurt I've put you through this is how I shall pay. You're on my mind 24/7, but when I dream of you it's like heaven. Never shall I let go, let me show you I can be a true friend and not your foe, I love you so much more than you can ever know, if only I could just let it show. Tried to be perfect for you, but all I did was hurt you, so many times more than a few. You're so special to me, but all the shit I've caused I made you flee, and now you live in happily harmony, Jimmy I miss you so much I'm so sorry. I know I'm in love, wanna be free like a dove, so I can get away from this place of hell and fly up above. Away from all this pain and hate, but I already know I cannot escape. Want to be somewhere I'm wanted, some place where I'm not taunted. Most have torn my heart, but that special someone I cannot part. We've shared so many memories, now they seem like dreams and fantasies. Your love has blinded me, so much I fell cause I can't see. Right now your love is what I lack, so I'll stand at the edge and fall back. Missing you, won't you stay for a day or two. Right here by my side, because without you I have no pride. You have such an affect on me, you make me feel like I'm free. When you're not near, I'm full of fear. I miss you so much, baby all I need is your touch. Baby hold me in your arms tight, alone I cannot win this fight. Now that you're gone, I cannot go on. It's like you're giving me a test, to try and do my best. But all I do is fail, and for that you bail. You've locked me out, so I sit here and pout. Now I leave you be, to never again see me. When I think about you all I can say is one word...love. It takes true love to put up with all that I've put up with when it comes to you. No one would've taken your shit, but I did out of absolute love for you. I forgave you when you didn't apologize, I loved you when you didn't love me, I cared about you when you didn't care about me, and I think about you when I never even cross your mind. Now that things have changed and you broke my heart into pieces, I still look out for you and stick up for you cause I know that no matter what you do, you're really not a bad guy. You have fallen because you try to be cool which is such a popular mistake to do. So how can I be mad at you for that? We all make mistakes. But I know that by still caring for you after all this time...is no mistake, I love you. It's been such a long time since I last saw you laugh and smile, damn boy you've been gone for a while. You're so far away, wanting you to come back and stay, wondering if you still love me the same way. Without you I have a hole in my heart, never again do I want us to part. The day I can make you mine, is when I shall be fine. I've changed why can't you see, you can once again trust me. Fell in love with you at first sight, losing you gave me such a fright. now that you're gone, I won't be moving on. I'm starting to show, baby please don't ever let go. You make me so happy don't you see, how much you mean to me, weren't we meant to be? Waiting for the day you kneel on one knee, asking "will you marry me?". You're that one special thing in my life, want you to make me as your wife. I want us to be together, now always and forever. I'm down on my knees, begging god please. I don't want to say our goodbyes, wish you were here to dry my eyes. Perfect guys so rare so few...P.S. I love you. The only guy that was really true to me, was Jimmy G, which I thank thee. You were always there by my side, not letting me hide. To be with you is my fate, so now I shall wait, until that very date. Even though we haven't met, I knew my match was set, so sure of myself I'd even place a bet. Knew from the start, you would hold the key to my heart. We're still together in my dreams, sadly it's not what it seems. Once again in this depressed state of mind, can't think can't see going blind. Can't eat can't sleep can't become the person I used to be, why can't anyone see, that I just want to once again be free. So confused I don't know what I want now, want to make things better but I don't know how. All I am now is depressed and sad, sometimes even mad. Thought the passing days were gonna get better, but my eyes just fill even more with tears getting wetter. Not sure anymore what's going on, thinking you're now gone. Where are you, I don't know what to do, I can't get through. Hold me in your arms, away from harm. I'm just a waste of life, so let me ask you a question...where's the knife? You thought that I hated you but there's nothing about you that I can hate. You thought that I didn't like you anymore but I don't dislike you. You thought I stopped loving you, you're right I did...only to fall IN love with you all over again. So really there was never a passing moment when I hated you, disliked you, or stopped loving you...there won't ever be a moment like that not even when I'm cold 6 feet in the ground, because with me and you our love is too strong to break...our love is so eternal it'll last forever. You're fading drifting from me, how can this be? We're falling apart, as the beat slows my heart. I'm crying...my eyes fill with tears, wishing you could rid all my fears. Distant almost gone, close to be almost done. Is this the end...what else do I have to live for to defend? You're right how could I have sold myself so low, but baby please don't ever let go, I still have alot of love left to show. I was always wrong while you were always right, is there ever going to be a day when we don't fight? Something tells me that you're the one, while they sit there and make fun. It's like a never-ending war, my hopes and dreams now sinking to the floor. I take all the blame, for this shame. Craving your kiss...your touch, I miss you so much. you're one thing that's true, I'm really truly in love with you. So confuzed, emotionally I've been abused. Tried so hard to get you back, your love your touch is what I lack. I don't want this to be the end, baby you are what I defend. I'd die for you, because I've tried it's true. So captivated by your blue eyes, I pray to God that our love never dies. Now it seems like you're so far away, but that's not all I have to say. I cannot move on, because I don't want you to be gone. Right now I'm full of fear, all because you're not near. Please be true to me, for once just realize just see, tell me it was meant to be, wishing for the day you kneel on one knee. You can always have my heart, just don't want us to completely fall apart. Lonely days have gone by more then a few, I'm always missing you. I know I've done wrong in the past, but I know this time I can make it last. It's like I'm in a trance, baby boy all I want is one more chance. I'm not so clever, but I do know that I'll always love you forever. Can't take this pain anymore, thought I'd go far. Needing to be free, again wanting to be me, without you I can't see. Tried to tell you how I feel, but you don't find me real, what's the deal? In my sleep your name I keep calling, you don't answer so now I'm falling. Thought I meant something, you're like a prize I can't win. Feeling even more closer, not giving up it's not over. My love for you I defend, it's all hope in the end. Everything changes, lovers become strangers. No one is by my side, everynight I have cried. The happiest day of my life is when I die, the day I say goodbye. I will die trying, and then soon will be flying. Far from this place, away from this humanly race, that I can no longer face. At the end of this night, I will see the light. Counting the days that pass me by, until which I say goodbye. No longer will I have to suffer this pain called love, soon to be free to fly like a dove. I've done everything that I could, but staying here I don't think I should. No one seems to care if I was gone, all I keep hearing is this one song. Thinking of all the things you said, but all you did was play with my head. Tried to make things better, but my eyes are just getting wetter. You wanted me gone boy, so now I'm a broken toy. When push comes to shove, I'm the one still showing love. No longer sane, to hold back the pain. now that you're gone there is no hope, I cannot cope. From the edge I have fallen, now leaving you be...your name I'll no longer be callin. Sleepless endless nights, nightmares haunting my dreams. Knife to my wrist slitting away, not capable of breathing, heart gone cold of hatred, feeling the urge of death. Lonely murky empty thoughts, blinded by the familiar faces. No one knows, what it's like to be hated. No one feels, the anger like I do. behind my eyes, I see you killing me. Will you have, someone to take my place. I put my trust in you, within you are nothing but lies. Unwanted soul seeks, for the love that it with-holds. ironic reality, guilt wins it over. Fate is me without you, diabolic sense of mind, adrenaline rush, now abolishing my life. Kill me now rid my life, of this endless strife. Since you've been gone I haven't felt the same, without you I'm going insane. Everything I fear, goes away when you're near. I can no longer stand this fight, why can't I ever do anything right. Any other guy my heart denies, because I'm captivated by your blue eyes. The mind of a guy I cannot comprehend, but for my love of you I will always defend. There's something about you, cannot happen to many just a few, that makes it feel so true, and that is I'm so deeply in love with you. I've become faithless, trapped under the surface. Not sure why I love you so much, wish I could give all my trust. Your touch your kiss your love everything about you is what I lack, missing you so damn much wanting you back. Never again am I gonna let go, even if we fight a million times in a row. It's like everything we had is now down the drain, if only you could imagine this pain. Without you I'm like a book without its' cover, wanting you once again as my lover. When you're gone, I keep hearing this song. It's been so long, tell me what's going on. everything has gone wrong, I can't stay strong. Everynight I cry, cause I don't have my perfect guy. Told me that you care, thought you would always be there. You want to hide, not letting out what's inside. Wishing upon the stars in the sky, hoping I won't have to say goodbye. Wanting my dream to come true, to start off new. Looking into your blue eyes, is like I'm lost in paradise. You play with my heart like it's a game, all you guys are the same. Don't you get it I'm sick, so stop being such a dick. My soul is a reflection, I'm going in the wrong direction. To win your heart I don't know how, after all everyone hates me now. Hate living this way, don't want to be here another day. Now that you're gone, I don't want to move on. you not being here makes things so rough, I can no longer be tough. Having feelings for me was your shame, you said you would never put me through so much pain. The only future I see ahead, is me lying there dead. If I ever die, would you even cry? I don't want to fight, all I want is to have you back tonight. My heart is what you stole, which now contains a hole. My heart is like glass, shattered thinking of the past. Since you went away, I've cried everyday. Now that I cannot have you to keep, the edge is from where I shall leap. My love you deny, please tell me why. Everything ended so fast, why couldn't this last? Each passing day feeling so low, wondering how deep this can go. Can it reach the center road, to which it flows. So damn frustrated, deeply penetrated. Listening to the dripping of the drain, some people say the city has gone insane. It's in such a bind, in this state of mind. Numb can no longer feel, it's reality everythings real. The wind begins to slow, enduring love starting to woe. Center of the city stopped, because of that the city dropped. Even the government couldn't save the city now, nobody knew how. That city died for only one not a few... P.S. I love you. Pain turns into hating, my life so anticipating. Everything is fading, too long I've been waiting. Want to take back what's mine, cutting in a straight line, cause there's no more time. You don't know what it's like to be me, a fucked up lost reality. Let me be free, stop messing with me. Inside I feel so hollow, all this shit seems to follow. Standing here insane, suicide kills the pain. Down into the ground, there will be no sound. Been bleeding to long, soon I'll be gone. Got to make it go away, this is the only way. It's not a game, it's going to be the same. Can't break this spell, this is considered hell. A world unseen, falling like a dream. I know I'm not wanted, false emotions tells you fronted. I was never right, wanting me out of your sight. No place to hide, for I have died. True friends...are always there for you in the end, on them I depend. You used to always be there, but now life just isn't fair, do you even still care? I never meant to hurt you, my heart now broken in 2, can't we just start off new? I try to fend off the fear, but I need you close and near, is it really that much of a peer? Now and forever know this, all our memories was such a bliss, so here's a goodbye kiss :-* I'm so lost and confuzed, been told I was used. I can see it in your eyes, all I hear are lies. I am giving up this fight, can't take another lonely night. Slowly dying, cannot stop crying. Still holding onto the past, you drifted away too fast. So many dangers all around, my heart is the only sound. Lost what I had, thinking of you makes me sad. Pain deep inside, from the world I hide. All my life, pain and strife. A fucked up lost reality, which it was meant to be. ---------------------------------------------------------- Well that's all my poems...and yes I did write all of these. They were mainly about how much I love people when they walked out of my life and how much I wanted to kill myself when I was really depressed. Hope you people like them.