Saturday... I wake up at 9am to a bunch of IM's from Ron asking if he could come over earlier than what was planned so he did...he was like all over me and shit, I tried getting away but that wasn't exactly working and at one point I wound up kissing him back...dumb I know. We were just chilling in my room doing stupid shit, listening to music, playing that hand slapping game...then I heard a knock at the front door. I told Ron to stay there in the chair...I answer the front door and it was Matt and Rob (bunch of kids sitting out front)...I was like "I'll go get Ron"...well to my surprise Matt followed me up the stairs and I didn't realize it. I open my bed room door and I said to Ron..."Matt's here" and so he walked out of the room and both him and Matt are standing at the top of the stairs next to each other...me and Rob are downstairs watching...Ron starts laughing...what a dumbass lol. They come down the stairs exchanging looks. Ron asks me to get him a bottle of water cause he was leaving. He left. I close the front door and turn around...I see a huge ass knife in Matt's hand...my heart completely stopped and my hand that was on the railing was shaking. Matt started like interogating me with the fucking knife in his hand...I was thinking I was gonna die or some shit lol. So they leave. I call Alicia and tell her everything. Megan and Sarah get to my house. Ron tells Matt about me kissing him...Matt bugs out signs off and goes under another screen name pertending to be one of his friends telling me to stay the fuck away from him. I bugged out. He signs off. Sarah was asleep on my bed...Megan sitting next to me...I'm like staring blankly at the computer screen all upset and listening to the songs that Matt listens to all the time...all I could think was that I lost everything that is keeping me here today that I lost my entire world. I couldn't even talk to anybody...like I lost my ability to speak. Me and Megan heard a knock at the front door...Megan was like "you heard that too right?" and I didn't say anything I just followed her downstairs...she opens the door and moves out of the way...it was Matt. I just stood there for like 3 seconds and just ran into his arms and started tearing...I was about to start crying histerically. I apologized to him for the rest of the day as he did also. We chilled at my house for a while trying to get rid of Sarah's hickey from Mike lol. Chilled at Sarah's ...Matt made her think that aviation is flying through the trees...Sarah is so dumb lol. Then me, Matt and Megan went to Matt's, they played checkers and chess...screwed around with Alicia's head online...then we went to Nick's house to introduce Megan to Nick and Andrew. That was basically it for that day. Sunday... Me, Matt and his sister Angela went to the Cattus Island Park Festival thing. He stole like 2 rocks there that they were selling lol. He went to take a piss in the woods and saw a snake so he turned back around haha! Him and Angela went saning in the bay. We were walking around and an SUV drives by and those douche bags that have been harassing us scream out "you fucking pussies!"...yet I'm walking along thinking..."right we're the pussies but their in a car driving AWAY from us." They turn back around...one of them through a rock at the back of my head and tried spitting on Matt...that's when I got really pissed. We see my mom driving home so I told her to write down the license plate number so I can report their asses to the cops if they fuck with us again. Hell I have that shit memorized now. Turns out to be Matt McGuinness's car from what I hear. Monday (yesterday) ... In the morning Corey had the nerve to fucking ask me to skip school to go chill at his house and fuck him. Scared him by saying Matt will go to his house with a knife haha. Went to McDonald's with Matt and his friends...beat up on Joe lol...grossed him and Andrew out with my vanilla milkshake hehe ;) Ron's friend Bobby IM'd me out of no where calling me a slut cause of me cheating on all my boyfriends...oh well whatever I'm a slut...I've tried changing...and nothing seems to work...at least I tried...and still trying. Ron, Matt, and Jack were fighting online bitching back and forth...that got me really pissed off. I was on the phone with Ron until like midnight so I was tired as hell. Tuesday (today) ... Nothing really happened today. During English class (7th period)...Quinn was placing bets with the guys by flipping a quarter...it lands on my desk and rolls off...he thought I was going to touch it or something so he like jumps on top of me and like bear hugs me from behind and he's like "no don't no interference!" and I'm sitting there like "umm okay" lol. Matt got his hair cut...real cute hehe :) anyways I put an away message up telling Matt if he wanted to hang out to come over and wake my ass up cause I was taking a nap...I didn't think he would actually come but he did...it was cute though he lays down next to me on the bed :) He took one of the pictures of me and Ron to show to his friends lol. I ordered alot of Chinese food cause I was extremely hungry. My sister Barbie, her boyfriend, and my nephew Jonathan came over for like an hour. Did my homework. It's almost 10:30pm, I just got off the phone with Ron. And um yeah I think that's about it for now...peace out! Matt's 15th birthday is in 2 weeks!!! I love you so much! 9-23-04