Well the conversation that I'm gonna put up between me and Mike will pretty much explain why I'm depressed. I was crying through the whole thing, just didn't tell him. E CoastRider 89: why dont you change your colors MotuzBabiGurl910: huh E CoastRider 89: change your font colors and backround E CoastRider 89: its like too.... death E CoastRider 89: make it white and blue or sumtin girlie MotuzBabiGurl910: lol sorry if i'm not girlie enough for you E CoastRider 89: nope E CoastRider 89: change it MotuzBabiGurl910: haha MotuzBabiGurl910: wow MotuzBabiGurl910: i don't like any of the colors they have lol E CoastRider 89: red and black E CoastRider 89: please something else E CoastRider 89: like brighter MotuzBabiGurl910: is this better? E CoastRider 89: change the back MotuzBabiGurl910: grr MotuzBabiGurl910: better? E CoastRider 89: YES MotuzBabiGurl910: UGH MotuzBabiGurl910: i hate pink E CoastRider 89: you always ware it E CoastRider 89: why black im guna turn you normal MotuzBabiGurl910: that's cus you'll bitch if i wear any of my hot topic shit which is like 90% of my wardrobe E CoastRider 89: change your wardrobe MotuzBabiGurl910: lol E CoastRider 89: see problem solved MotuzBabiGurl910: sorry if i don't like looking preppy and girlie MotuzBabiGurl910: its not me E CoastRider 89: you should MotuzBabiGurl910: nah E CoastRider 89: by the time im done with you E CoastRider 89: your guna be a normal pink loving girl MotuzBabiGurl910: i rather kill myself E CoastRider 89: well its kinda wierd a prep jock guy with a gothic gf ya know E CoastRider 89: lol MotuzBabiGurl910: lol so MotuzBabiGurl910: wouldn't be the first MotuzBabiGurl910: i mean come on i used to go out with football players E CoastRider 89: well thats them E CoastRider 89: swimmers and lacrosse players are normal MotuzBabiGurl910: lol yeah sure E CoastRider 89: i will turn you back into normal MotuzBabiGurl910: back into normal? i was never "normal" to begin with E CoastRider 89: yes you were E CoastRider 89: at one time you were MotuzBabiGurl910: nah i was a tomboy when i was younger E CoastRider 89: id rather you be a tomboy than gothic MotuzBabiGurl910: lol oh please... the clothes i wear from hot topic aren't that bad, cus my mom forbids me to wear any hardcore E CoastRider 89: your slipknot sweatshirt are you serious MotuzBabiGurl910: it's a shirt MotuzBabiGurl910: not a sweatshirt MotuzBabiGurl910: big deal MotuzBabiGurl910: it's a band E CoastRider 89: horrible killer death run over band MotuzBabiGurl910: it's not like i'm wearing fishnet stockings and have piercings all over my body and wear cargo pants with chains and straps hanging from them E CoastRider 89: yeah and im guna change you MotuzBabiGurl910: lol this is what i call sad... no one has ever tried doing that E CoastRider 89: well i am E CoastRider 89: and why is it sad MotuzBabiGurl910: cus you should love me for who i am E CoastRider 89: i do MotuzBabiGurl910: then you wouldn't be doing this E CoastRider 89: well you always wanna kill someone or get someone jumped or hurt MotuzBabiGurl910: i can't help it if i'm a violent person E CoastRider 89: ill unviolent you MotuzBabiGurl910: MotuzBabiGurl910: if someone loves you they won't try to change you, am i right? omfg itsz lee x0: yes E CoastRider 89: you had to bring her into this E CoastRider 89: shes guna bitch at me now MotuzBabiGurl910: lol i was just getting a second opinion MotuzBabiGurl910: block her ass E CoastRider 89: i dont block people MotuzBabiGurl910: lol ok MotuzBabiGurl910: then ignore her MotuzBabiGurl910: she was the only one i could ask that i'm allowed to talk to E CoastRider 89: you have her thats it MotuzBabiGurl910: that's online at the moment, all the other people don't know me that well except for one but i'm not allowed to speak to him so i asked her E CoastRider 89: would you honestly wanna talk to him E CoastRider 89: or get his opinion MotuzBabiGurl910: it were to get my point across to you then maybe but i didn't, did i E CoastRider 89: i know exactly what hed say too MotuzBabiGurl910: what? E CoastRider 89: he dont apresiate you for you and dis me and make you wanna break up with me so you would and hes be there to say everything you wanna hear MotuzBabiGurl910: lol he likes the way i am, cus he's gothic/skater himself.... but i don't label myself... but i know exactly what he would say, so that just gives me another reason not to ask him E CoastRider 89: exactly what i said MotuzBabiGurl910: "he's too controlling, why would you want to be with someone like that"... bet you a million that's what he would say MotuzBabiGurl910: lol after all you're hitler according to him E CoastRider 89: do i care ? MotuzBabiGurl910: i know you don't E CoastRider 89: and notice who we are talking about and who brought him up E CoastRider 89: wow MotuzBabiGurl910: well i was just proving a point that not 1 guy i've been with has tried to change me E CoastRider 89: ok forget it then MotuzBabiGurl910: k E CoastRider 89: you couldnt use another guy to prove a point MotuzBabiGurl910: no cus all the others don't know me like he does E CoastRider 89: do i know you that good or no MotuzBabiGurl910: not from the looks of it E CoastRider 89: ohh owch E CoastRider 89: wow E CoastRider 89: ok then MotuzBabiGurl910: did you want me to lie E CoastRider 89: i cant belive you said that to me wow MotuzBabiGurl910: well what did you expect mike MotuzBabiGurl910: you make me feel like i'm not good enough for you E CoastRider 89: i didnt say that MotuzBabiGurl910: you didn't have to E CoastRider 89: i just wanted you to be like .. idk look nice and not like death and black MotuzBabiGurl910: i've hardly ever wear black in front of you anymore E CoastRider 89: but when your not you wear it E CoastRider 89: you said 90 percent of your clothes are gothic MotuzBabiGurl910: yeah so? if you're not there obviously i'm gonna wear it, i don't wear it in front of you so you don't bitch about it E CoastRider 89: caise i want you to wear something colorfull and look nice MotuzBabiGurl910: okay well that's what i've been doing lately so i don't know why this was even brought up E CoastRider 89: you look nice around me MotuzBabiGurl910: exactly... look nice around you... why would i want to look "nice" for school... i'm not trying to impress anyone E CoastRider 89: yeah i know but ... just look nice for your own self MotuzBabiGurl910: that's not me E CoastRider 89: what you mean not you E CoastRider 89: looking nice ? MotuzBabiGurl910: yeah E CoastRider 89: why dont you wanna look nice MotuzBabiGurl910: cus that's just not how i am, i have different tastes than everyone else E CoastRider 89: um yeah E CoastRider 89: like alicia dresses like preppy and idk really how sarah dresses but that night she did wear nice clothes MotuzBabiGurl910: that's cus that's what they like to wear MotuzBabiGurl910: alicia is girlie i'm not E CoastRider 89: well your a girl E CoastRider 89: so shouldnt you like dress like a girl MotuzBabiGurl910: i didn't when i was younger, 99% of my friends are guys, so where do you think i'm gonna pick it up from E CoastRider 89: dressing like a guy is better than dressing like your dead MotuzBabiGurl910: whatever E CoastRider 89: your purpously said that MotuzBabiGurl910: no i have nothing else to say and it's obviously not clicking in your head E CoastRider 89: but babe like i dont know why you wanna wear black and not wear colors and look nice MotuzBabiGurl910: idk how else to explain it, you'll just never understand me E CoastRider 89: well as you said only 1 guy does MotuzBabiGurl910: now you're purposely rubbing it in E CoastRider 89: you said it not me MotuzBabiGurl910: didn't have to be brought up a 2nd time E CoastRider 89: why did you say it in the first place MotuzBabiGurl910: i speak what's on my mind E CoastRider 89: well every time we talk you say that so hes always on your mind then MotuzBabiGurl910: when it comes to certain situations yeah, like how you're trying to change me E CoastRider 89: i just want you to look nicer E CoastRider 89: well you said you changed into likeing killer music MotuzBabiGurl910: that was before i met you MotuzBabiGurl910: i've listened to hard rock a little bit before him too but it just grew on me more when i did E CoastRider 89: well you wear a little preppy now so maybe it will just grow on you more E CoastRider 89: unless you just wear it so i dont say anything MotuzBabiGurl910: pretty much E CoastRider 89: are you seriouse MotuzBabiGurl910: wtf do you want me to do mike, i try to make you happy but whatever i do doesn't work E CoastRider 89: im just tryin to better you E CoastRider 89: like E CoastRider 89: make you look nicer and maybe you wont want to kill everyone MotuzBabiGurl910: changing the color of my font and the color of my clothes isn't gonna change me on the inside MotuzBabiGurl910: if you don't like who i am, then why are you with me E CoastRider 89: maybe cause i care for you try that one MotuzBabiGurl910: well you don't see me trying to change you MotuzBabiGurl910: i'm not into the whole prep thing MotuzBabiGurl910: but am i trying to change you, no E CoastRider 89: well i think i look nice around poeple and my friends and stuff so why dont you wanna be like color and people say you look nice and everything cause you do when you wear the stuff E CoastRider 89: you wear around me MotuzBabiGurl910: i wear it around you to make you happy, but if i can't be myself then who am i mike? just another fake person in good ol' TR E CoastRider 89: so you changed to go gothic from tom boy but you wont change back E CoastRider 89: its ok MotuzBabiGurl910: mike i was tomboyish when i was in elementary school... think of how long ago that was E CoastRider 89: you were always gothic MotuzBabiGurl910: in high school yeah E CoastRider 89: hm ok MotuzBabiGurl910: people change as they get older E CoastRider 89: i dont think im ever guna chnge to that MotuzBabiGurl910: i didn't say you were going to... but you did go from ghetto to prep, right? E CoastRider 89: cause i was bettering myself to look better E CoastRider 89: and it worked and was good MotuzBabiGurl910: but if it were up to what you wanted, would you be ghetto or prep right now? E CoastRider 89: prep cause i look nicer E CoastRider 89: and feel better MotuzBabiGurl910: okay well maybe that's how i feel when i'm gothic like E CoastRider 89: you think you look nice ? MotuzBabiGurl910: it's the style i like E CoastRider 89: do you think you look nice and could go anywhere and people would say you look good MotuzBabiGurl910: no, i don't think i look nice in anything i wear, i think i'm ugly but i don't care MotuzBabiGurl910: i don't care what others think E CoastRider 89: ok then if its what you want E CoastRider 89: ok then MotuzBabiGurl910: mmhmm E CoastRider 89: i just though youd wanna look nicr around poeple MotuzBabiGurl910: i don't need to E CoastRider 89: but whatever works for ya E CoastRider 89: i guees i dont know cause i just dont know who you are E CoastRider 89: maybe someday i will MotuzBabiGurl910: i guess E CoastRider 89: you always speak your mind MotuzBabiGurl910: yeah E CoastRider 89: but babe what i dont get is why you always talk about him MotuzBabiGurl910: cus i don't have any better examples E CoastRider 89: come on there has to be other guys MotuzBabiGurl910: nah, the others never took the time to get to know me E CoastRider 89: well idk if you notice but i do sit and talk to you trying to understand you MotuzBabiGurl910: i know MotuzBabiGurl910: but we're also alot different from each other so it's not as easy E CoastRider 89: well i gotta go get ready and everything MotuzBabiGurl910: alright E CoastRider 89: ill talk to you tonight when i come home MotuzBabiGurl910: k E CoastRider 89: talk to you tonight then MotuzBabiGurl910: have fun E CoastRider 89: ok fine ill say it talk to you later love you and thanks for wishing me luck MotuzBabiGurl910: love you too E CoastRider 89 is away at 5:47:47 PM.