Last night I went to Mike's. We were supposed to be getting changed into our swim suits to go in the hot tub but instead we were wrestling on his bed. And yeah lets just go with he kicked my ass... and I wound up having a welt on my arm from his belt lol. I didn't realize how fuckin strong he is. Well after that we got changed and went into the hot tub. Oh man that was sooo fuckin relaxing. He got naked and I kept my bikini on the whole time lol. Then it got really awkward cus he kept buggin me to hook up but I didn't want to. So I stayed on the opposite side of the hot tub from him and we didn't talk for like a good half hour. Then I don't know he kept splashing me trying to annoy me. And he came towards me really fast... and for some reason it reminded me of Matt. And I was like "pulled a Matt move I see" and he didn't hear me correctly so he thought I called him Matt. And he was like "what's my name" and I'm like "Mike" and he was like "you called me Matt before" and I was like "umm no I didn't" so he was all pissed off. And he was like "I could've been really mean" and I was like "how?" and he was like "I could've done this"... and he came up to me and said "can you keep a secret?" and kissed me. The look on my face... I don't even know, that was like a stab in the heart. I was so furious but at the same time I was hurt, that he even had the nerve to do that. I just looked at him with a confused look and I was like "I can't believe you would even think of doing that" and he was like "I didn't mean that though I said I could have done that" and I was like "you just fuckin did it just now!" So I just tried to ignore it and he knew that something else was bothering me and he wouldn't leave me alone about it. So I told him how it bothered me that he wasn't taking no for an answer earlier when he was asking me to hook up. And then he remembered about how I told him that I was raped 2 years ago and he was like "why didn't you tell me, I would've understand"... and I just hugged him cus I didn't know what to say. So it was time for me to go so we got out. And I don't know I was telling him that I could be mean and get back at him by cheating on him with Matt. And he said something about you don't realize you miss something until it's gone. In other words he was saying that he would break up with me and not take me back ever. We go upstairs and got changed. And he took me home. When he came online we had another talk about everything and expressing our feelings, etc. Then Evan IM'd me telling me that Matt was going out with Christine for a week, broke up with her, and asked some other girl out. And so I would assume that he cheated on 1 of them when he kissed me. Which is completely fucked up. Well that's about it for now. I love you Mike!