Today is Ronnie's 19th birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY RONNIE!!! Yeah so I'm cool with Ronnie and Jack again... but I still hate the rest of the Brick kids. On Thursday, I went to Corey's house. And I wound up cheating on Brian. I told PJ about it and he thought it was hilarious. So he wanted to tell Brian, so I let him. Brian called me up... he said he was gonna give me another chance and give me 48 hours to think about if I want to be with him or not. And yesterday which was Saturday... Ronnie came over and I cheated on Brian again. Then PJ called me up after Ronnie left. And I told PJ that I cheated on Brian again and PJ was like "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PAM WTF!?!" and he kept yelling at me and he was like "damn Pam if I was your boyfriend right now I'd like kill you"... and then he was being his oldself by trying to get back with me and shit lol. He told me to call him after Brian broke up with me. But I was the one who broke up with Brian lol... so I called PJ back. And I told him I broke up with Brian and he started laughing and he was like "that's fucked up but I hate to interupt you but I'll call you back cus I'm cutting someone's hair" and he never called me back lol. Then I talked to Alicia on the phone all night until I fell asleep... her and her boyfriend broke up cus he cheated on her... ASSHOLE!!! I know I shouldn't be the one to talk lol. But yeah anyways... honestly... it's all for the good... cus I just met Brian in April and already he's getting ready to propose to me... no way in hell I can make a huge committment like that at the age of 18. Feelings for him completely disappeared... but who knows maybe things will change when he gets back from the air force, 4 years from now. Megan slept over the other night... that was interesting... trying to do her myspace within 10 minutes lol... that was like hell but she wound up redoing it again anyways so it's all good. My dad might get me a job at the park for like $9 an hour... hopefully that will turn out good too. Chelsea tried texting and calling my cell phone... she said that Marjorie is pissed off that she's talking to me and that she loves me lmao! AHHH, everything is so fuckin confusing. I love Matt more than anything in the fuckin world... but for some reason I still have feelings for Ronnie and Corey. It sucks. So I have no clue what to do anymore. Matt hasn't been on for almost 2 weeks now... I want to know what the fuck is going on. He better be okay... if something happened to him, I don't know what I'll do. I can't live without the boy. I love him so much!