I sat there in my chair after school...with the knife in my hand...tried cutting my wrist...didn't really go deep enough though...it hurt...well obviously it's gonna hurt but yeah...then Matt and Joe showed up. I told him to stay away and tried running out the door, was gonna try to stab him but didn't. Matt grabbed the knife out of my hand and he tried grabbing ahold of me but I took off down the stairs into the den. Ran to the recliner and just started crying...Matt tried calming me down trying to make me feel better...telling me to look into his eyes. He eventually got me to look and he just took me into his arms and I started crying even more. He told me that he cares, Joe cares, etc. if I died or not. And he repeated told me that he loves me. He gave me a hug and kissed me... Then he went to clean off the knife...then me, Matt, and Joe chilled in my room the rest of the time...Joe was looking at porn and talking to people on my buddylist while me and Matt were making out and umm yeahhh lol. Thanks Matt for opening up my eyes that you and everyone else care about me...no one has ever taken the time to come to my house to stop me from doing something that stupid...but your different from other people. You mean the world to me...you are my everything. I love you more than life itself you have no idea. I got so scared that I was gonna lose you forever. You were right all along. Thanks for being there for me too Joe. You're a great friend. Love ya! Anyways...I chilled with Jen for a few hours. And Corey is being the biggest asshole ever...he still denys everything...denys that he likes me...denys that he wanted us to be "together." I swear he just uses me for ass...a typical male...I swear if I ever had a gun, he would be the first person I'd shoot...just to put him out of everyone's misery. In Gym today Alicia was telling me how she was on 3 way with her friend Shannon and that hot sophomore...her friend told him to stop looking for a girlfriend cause she found someone (me)...I don't even care anymore...I love Matt and that's all there is to it. I seriously think I'm going to drop my computer class and take study hall...it's getting too hard. But I don't want to cause Chris is in that class and he's like the class clown and that just starts my days off good. I don't know. Haha he kept looking over his shoulder behind himself at my paper trying to get answers...and at our lockers he was like "so Pam...did you do your Geometry homework?" and I'm like "no" and he's like "oh that's right you don't know the answers" and I'm like "oh right that's why you were looking at my paper huh?" and he was like "no I wasn't I'm best smartest person in that class"...and I'm like "yeah sureee you are"...*he was being sarcastic by the way he's really not the smartest lol* Sometimes I just don't know what to do with that kid...damn sophomore! lol. Right now I'm talking to Sarah...before I was talking to Frankie and Ronny...everyone seems quiet tonight. But uh yeah anyways...I have Geometry homework to do so I'll probably start on that soon. Goodnight peoples!