i'm so fucking confused. so fucking lost. and i think i'm giving up. on matt. and i have no idea why. but i'm like super fucking depressed. and it's really pissing me off. so, anyway. my friend michael is telling me about this guy. his name is john. i am supposed to know him. he knows who i am. i have no idea who he is. so, i'm quite curious. and he works with michael. in h-dale. so, i think when i go into h-dale next i'll stop by. see who he is. michael told me that he is hot. oh and, he is in his 20s. =] i see a bit of light. maybe happiness is here again. i sure do hope so. i leave in three days. for the beach. i can't fucking wait to get away from here. the end.