The most realistic view of my head you will ever get out of me. It has depth, and gets a bit deep...if you can understand it, and it has a lot of meaning inside it. And it bounces around, a lot, like my mind. If you ever wanted to looking into my brain, here you go. And this is one of the only pieces I will ever admit to liking. The only piece I'd like to see get idk...more recognition... more people to read it. I guess.
Radical heartbeat, pulsating blood
Not enough, more than enough.
Pressure, pressure, pressure!
Timidness, thoughtfulness, disasters
Too many ideas, ideals,
Designs – figments
Unrealities, falsified images
Life, the unrealistic dream
Broken, broken, broken!
Broken thoughts, broken designs, broken dreams
Distorted vision
A mistake, was it? Or was it not?
Ideas, ideals, ideas
Trouble, trouble, trouble!
Pessimistic desires – designs
Half-baked figures, thoughts – happiness
Inconclusive, indecisive,
High, higher, highest!
In the clouds, in the stars, in my head
In between, beneath, behind, beside
I need somebody, I do, I do, I do.
Clumsy thoughts, practiced actions
Adventure, adventure, adventure!
Desire – Life – Ideas – Ideals
A continuous story
Story, socks, trouble
Design – a radical heartbeat
Irregular – barely beating,
Or beating too fast –
The quickest ways to be succumb by a heart attack.
Falling, failing, dying heart
There is no reason for irregularity.
Pressure equals disaster.
Death might equal happiness,
Though there is no scientific reasoning behind
Such a lucrative statement
Dying, dying, dying!
Slowly dying –
Do you want this?
Do you toy with me?
Am I nothing… or am I something?
Do I mean something to you?
Slowly, slowly, slowly dying –
Curiosity; irregular heartbeat
Desire, maybe.
Destruction, most likely;
Disaster, I can almost taste it.
A perfect design, flawless –
An imperfect idea, ideal, idea
I am nothing, to you.
I can almost feel it,
Intangible, but I can feel it.
Irregular heartbeat – it must mean something.
I see the lies,
What lies ahead, and what is behind
Have I gotten too caught up?
Am I just wasting away?
Am I the reason for my own destruction?
I have led myself to a fork in the forest.
Decisions… have I told you I’m indecisive?
I’ll just sit on the fence… and think about this for a while –
While you continue to break me
I am breaking – dying –
The irregular heartbeat tells me so.
Do you care?
Am I a toy?
I need clear answers.
Just be blunt, put it all out on the field.
Do I mean anything to you?
Are there even feelings there?
Can you sense that I’m not happy?
Can you tell that I can’t take this – that I’m breaking?
I need you, I need you, I need you.
You are like a drug.
I need you, I crave you, I want you.
Desire, desire, desire!
Ideas, ideas, ideas,
That is all I have.
A falsified reality –
A world filled with dreams.
You don’t want me.
I know you don’t.
And if you do –
I’ll probably convince myself otherwise.
JW - December 2, 2008
-Jeremy Strong