This is a voice recording I made at about 5:30 am on August 7, 2008. I wrote it all out right after I finished recording. It’s like 7 and a half minutes long and it’s just what you would get if you looked inside my mind, when my mind is on absolutely no sleep. =] Enjoy! I think I have like this inability to sleep. I just – I can’t sleep like normal people. I can’t go to sleep – well, I can’t get to sleep before at least like 5:30 in the morning. Sometimes it’s easier, maybe 4:30 in the morning. And sometimes I just can’t sleep at all. ‘Til I cry myself to sleep. And then I… … … ability to sleep then I sleep the day away. So…what good is it, you know? I’m just gonna freaking sleep all day, stay up all night. Kinda pointless. Nothing’s open at night, so I can’t really do anything. My classes at school are gonna freaking do horrible if I can’t get to sleep like a normal intelligent human being. So like, there’s gotta be something wrong with me. It’s 5:30 now. I need to get up in like 3 hours to go shopping … for college stuff. I don’t really know what I need these days for college. I don’t think I seriously need anything but we’re going to the Viewmont anyway. I might write out my first check, I mean, I don’t need new shoes, but you know, shoes are amazing to have. And well, it’s good to see the selection. I haven’t been up there since well – July 14th – the day that will forever haunt me, I guess. Chad was, Chad was one of the most amazing people I’ve ever freaking met. And had a chance to know. He was always smiling, always laughing, always being himself, he didn’t care whether people didn’t like who he was and he just didn’t care. He was happy within his own skin. And it suited him well and I wish everybody else could be like that and learn from him. And maybe just value their life as much as he valued his. And the fact that he got died – he left us doing something he does and loves the best, besides of course, skateboarding. Hi – his motorcycle was his baby…besides his girlfriend and his family and his friends. He loved that bike. And …..I’ve cried myself to sleep the past couple of nights. Uh, I can finally actually drive past where it happ – the accident happened without crying. I’d say that’s uh – that’s pretty good for me I’d say. I don’t know why I’m making this. Um. I’ve had another friend die this summer. Maegan Williams. I mean we haven’t really been friends since she graduated in 2006 but it still hurts. Because we were friends at one point in our lives. We crossed paths in the madness of what is known as gym class. We were…we were friends and – and when we were friends, she meant a lot to me. And it’s just been a hard summer for people in the young community. She was uh. She was 19. Chad was 18. And the other one, George Quinn, I didn’t know him, he was one of the Callicoon kids. Skateboarding kids, probably friends with Chad and all them. I don’t even know his age…probably I think 17, maybe 16. He was young. It’s just horrible. George got hit by a drunk driver, Chad was in a motorcycle accident, and Maegan was a passenger of a vehicle that rear-ended a trac – tractor-trailer. The driver died, too, but he was older, I didn’t know him. And well,…I don’t really know what else to say. I’m just…I’m tired of crying myself to sleep at night because I feel as though it’s the only way I can actually get to sleep these days. And I’m just tired of it. I don’t want that to be what makes me go to sleep these days – what forces me into sleep because seriously I’m so tired of crying and it’s just…it’s wearing down on me. I get headaches every day at least more – at least twice a day and I know they’re stress related and I know they relate to all the sadness in my life…I’m leaving soon I’m going off to college. I’m not going to see my really close friends until like November and I know that’s only like 2 months or something but I love my friends. I cannot be without my friends. Especially my best friends. Matt and Mike are probably like the most amazing friends anybody could ever ask for I know they’re both guys, I can’t really talk to them about girl stuff…but…I trust them more than I trust like everybody else. And…they’re gonna be Seniors this year. Makes me not wanted to have graduated since I’m leaving my 2 best friends and I don’t know how I’m going to make it without them, I mean yeah, I’m gonna have AIM and texting and my cell phone but it’s not enough. And…maybe I just need to get over it. What’s happening is happening. I need to let go of what has happened this summer, look to the future, and make new friends. I need sleep so badly. I’m gonna be freaking exhausted during shopping. Probably need to buy a Monster energy drink ----------- this is Jamie Willett signing off. And that is my mind…with no sleep. I eventually did get to sleep, around like 7:30. But we didn’t leave extremely early for shopping as I had thought we were going to. We managed to get out of Damascus at like 1:30pm. So, I had myself an opportunity to sleep for a while. I got a shitload of stuff for school. And a new pair of shoes bringing my total up to 30 pairs of Converse. Hmmm, what else did I manage to do that day? Oh, I made my mum cry in a store, in public – no less. We had a …very rocky day. … oh well. Not much I can do about that. Oh, I got Michael Kors jeans. They’re very sexy. =] I have managed not to cry myself to sleep since that night, but that is because the Olympics have started. The Olympics. My gosh! They are amazing so far! The opening ceremony was exquisite;; not bad for a country that is killing the Monks in Tibet. Lol. Besides that Michael Phelps thus far has done absolutely amazing. I LOVE THAT GUY! =] I haven’t bought tickets to any of the shows I might be going to next week. Mistake on my part. The Jonas Brothers have sold out, so therefore I am unlucky to go drool all over their sexy voices. And they’re just bloody good looking. I can’t get that either. =[ Makes me quite sad. =[ So, tomorrow [later today] I’m going to go buy Maroon 5/Counting Crows tickets and Allman Brothers Band tickets. And THEN find somebody to come with me. Oh, and my friend Jon is having this party for John McCain and I might go to that on Thursday, since I’m not gonna be able to see the Jonas Brothers. Quite frankly, I’d love to bring Mike with me. I might do that. It’d be amazing to spike the punch with vodka because I’d seriously love to see all those Republicans drunk, especially Jon, whom I’m sure has never had vodka in his life. Of course I’m not going to do that, but it would be hilarious if it were done. That’s all for me. I’m exhausted. Need to get up early tomorrow. Call Stephie, see if she’s interested in the Maroon 5 concert. …Maybe I’ll get ahold of Lindy, also. For…idk. The Allman Brothers Band. Whatevs.