i've lasted a week. i'm so damn proud of myself. a month or so ago i would have died if i had to go an entire week of not being technically "together", even though that makes no sense since a month or so ago nothing was different. we still never talked, i still hadn't seen him for around four or so months. now its up to about five. hopefully monday will go easily, since it'll be the fourth. maybe snowboarding will take my mind off it. maybe i'll forget entirely. i'm sure he wont remember. but really, this week has been great. besides the fact i haven't gotten to see my jessie shane.. poor kid broke his femur last saturday when he went up snowboarding. i was really sad and worried and mad that i wasn't there to comfort him until i realized that he was probably perfectly fine without me. turns out i was right. but he did want me to visit. i'd promised him forever ago that if he ever had to go to the hospital, i'd come visit. so dustyn came and picked me up and took me to the hospital where we chilled for a while. i just hope he's doing better. last night i went to britton's birthday party. first, jessie drove to my house and then her dad drove us back to her house. we got there around the same time as shelby, so that worked out. after about five or ten minutes we got a ride to wal mart, too, and shopped around for britton's presents. we got him a shirt, some boxers, two things of bubbles, a tech deck, and a random sucker. oh yeah, and a bag of cheetos. we then got a big bag to put it all in. it all added up to $25. yeah for wal mart's low prices. (= one stop shopping in big-business corporate bullshit stores. anyways. so then we went back to jessie's, drew his cards, put all the stuff in the bag with tissue paper, tied it all together, and went to britton's house. oh man. so fun. when we got there we played guitar hero for a bit, then put on 1408. it was so so good. jessie has a death scream. freak. haha. then we started to play with fire after it was over and i learned how to hold fire. i'm going to teach myself how to blow fire. haha. it was fun. then my dad came and we took shelby and jessie home. it was a fun night. i don't know. things are complicated but simple right now. and there's no way to explain any of it. whatever. today's a lazy day; i feel like just sleeping it off.