he was being so cute today; we were texting and talking about the way things used to be and he said something along the lines of "i've let you down and i want to make things right and change." i told him it wasn't his fault, but he replied that yes, part of it was. that he didn't come see me often enough, or that he didn't talk to me much. which is true but i assured him i was probably just being a stupid, possessive little girl, but he said i wasn't. i don't know. i keep falling even more for him, when i least expect it to be possible. but when i talk to him i forget all about those boys i may or may not have a crush on (i'm still not sure). which is similar to what it was like a year ago where whenever i hung out with him or even talked to him, all my problems or stressing thoughts faded away. everything was him. which might be a bad thing, but i suppose it's like a cigarette for a smoker; he calms me down and makes me feel better. even if after i feel worse. i do home someday we end up together. we'll just have to see what happens. then again, it's possible i'm just too young to really know how love is supposed to feel. thing is, i really don't care. on another note, school today wasn't bad at all. i don't have much homework, which leaves time for relaxing. i really should get to reading blindness. or the host. either one. i'm getting straight A's and have a 4.0 so far. it's already almost mid-tri. i'm thinking i'll do pretty well. i got a few new clothes on monday. they look good on me and make me look cute. i got a white henley-type shirt, slightly ribbed like long underwear, and it has peace signs and love hearts all over it; i got a black long slightly low-cut tee with cute crown-chain-rope designs all over (it's sparkley); i got a pair of pants that are actually long on me; a black tank top that fits well and looks cute; and a black Sweeney Todd hoodie from Hot Topic. i also started showering in the morning which lets my hair not look so greasy in the afternoon after school. my To Write Love On Her Arms merch hasn't come yet. it's kind of getting annoying; they better not have lost it because it kind of cost a lot. oh well.