Time: 11:07 PM Why is it when I get the opportunity to tell someone what's totally on my mind, I blow it? Not once, but twice. At least this time, it was a little bit better. I'm just so upset with myself. I don't think I can really be mad at them for it or anything, it's all my fault. I need to just tell them when something is bothering me, not be such a chicken. Seriously, ARGGGGGGGGGG!!! ANGRY EYES!!! And I can only really be mad at myself. Why is it that when I try to fix something, I always feel like I've only made it worse? I was right earlier, when I said that not telling the entire truth is lying. In this situation, I am only lying to myself if I say everything is ok. By not telling this person why I'm upset with them, I'm only making everything worse. If that person is reading this, then so be it. I can't deny it any longer, I'll go crazy. Everything is not OK. I don't know what's worse, the problem itself or the fact that I can't deal with it. To everyone else who has no idea what's going on, don't worry, I'll be fine as soon as I take care of it. And I'm going to take care of it soon. Like now soon. I have the courage right now, I might as well do it. Even though it's not the way I really wish I could do it (in person), I just don't feel like I can deal that way right now. I can't do it, I'm just not strong enough. But I am strong enough to do something right now. And so I'm going to deal with my problem the only way I know how to. you know you love me ;) even if I'm a total nutcase