For the first time in my life, I watched my brother cry. I was there for him..listening to his profound words that are still rooted deep down in my soul. They will never leave...and though I can never find the way to speak them out or express what they meant, they will always be with me. As I gave him a hug goodnight, I told him...if it meant anything..I was glad to have him in my life Even if no one else was..although I'm not the only one... He told me the story I wrote below. He had the candle on the table. And the effect was just...amazing. He said...."These kinds of things...rock my world." And I saw his single tear flicker in the reflection of the flame. I told him I could see the candle inside him. I gave him another hug goodnight and cried on his shoulder as he did on mine.. He told me he appreciates me more and more everyday and say's he sees something when he looks in my eyes..that he loves to look in them because he sees himself as a child...innocence. He told me I would make a great mother and I'm a good person ...We are the two bookends of the family..with the strongest ties to eachother. I look at things simply from time to time..but sometimes, that isn't enough. I thought about my father when Miklos told me stories of what he went through.. as a child before I was born. It's the first real time I felt sadness as me not being complete. I can't change the way things are. The past will always remain, but I am the one who can change the future and I know...that is one thing I have control over. Not what will happen, but the way it can be molded and noone else, even if I ask..can do that but me.