my right arm is sooo sore. i wouldnt put matthew down in the market last night. i just HAD to hold him...plus he layed his head down on my shoulder and almost fell asleep, so i was like attatched. i always see this guy D.J that works there..(that's the only place i go since the VONs strike) he's always pushing a dolly around or something. i get nervous around him and it's weird because i wasn't at all last night. we were there for about an hour 1/2 just going down each and eveeeery isle...so i got to see him AlOt..and ...just AHHHH!! his eyes are sooooooo nice.. and he smiled at me i dont know how many times. he's so shy it's adorable. it's not even that "he's so sexy blah blah blah" it's like..he's just glows and just makes you happy to look at him and see him smile at you.. and then i got all excited today becuase my mom wanted me to get some stuff from the store and i was all dressed up..but d.j. wasnt there..so :( but i got to see amanda ..and im suposed to call her pretty soon.. i dont know if kyle reads this or not..but if he does...idk. he said "i love you" to me this morning online. i didnt know what to say so i just told him i had to go get ready for school. (truthfully) i'v only been talking to him for about 3 weeks and the last time i'v seen him was in 7th grade so it's really odd. i hope he was joking about it. if not..then i dont know what to say and when i think about it..i would rather us just stay friends. i dont feel like im into him as much as i'd like to be if we were to get together and i dont want to lead him on..thinking that down the line it will happen because i have no idea what the future holds for me, let alone him. it's hard because i dont want to hurt his feelings...and i dont know if i would ever go out with him...so i dont want him to wait around for me. i just have to follow my heart on this one. well, time for dinner...so i'll write more later... and ohyea, watch '48 Hours' so you can see our county's officials with corrupted politics and homosexuality... ^-^ this will be interesting