there is no particular reason for me to lie awake. yet i am here. i feel that hunger. is that a reason? there is no particular reason for me to write, yet i do. when i dont know what i may say. but i know i have something worth sharing. is that a reason? there is no particular reason for me to wait for someone, yet i have. because even though it lasted the time it took for me to breathe in all his love in the blink of an eye and exhale, it meant everything. is that a reason? there is no particular reason for me to figure out where i have come from. it doesnt mean anything to anyone else. but even though it is worthless to many, i care because i feel their pain and feed off of this spirit, the old soul i posess that came from an age where i didnt yet exist. is that a reason? there is no particular reason why i should help one who will not recieve it. but i feel they are blinded and will eventually fall so i try and try and get rejected but "at least i tried.". is that a reason? there is no particular reason to repair a friendship with a long lost friend who tainted my heart. i wanted him to recognize me and apologize yet he never will. so why did i ring myself dry? because i loved him. is that a reason? there is no particular reason why i waste my time. there is nothing accomplished like i knew there wouldn't be from the start, but i had hoped. is that a reason? there is no particular reason as to why i wish. we wish on stars and we lock it away in our hearts. but goals and dreams we do lean on. they etch the path we may take in life. is that a reason? so i wish and i hope and i try and i wait and write and dream and i lay awake and help a lost soul and i pray and cry and get attatched and im emotional and weary and awestruck and consumed by this daze and feel lovely and pulled in by your words that will make my heart jump and make me love you -but who are you. im so scared you will crush me in the end because im fragile and trusting and ignorant. so in the end, i end up wasting my time. but i never know. no one knows. so.. there is a reason for this turm-oil that rests inside. and a reason why it lingers and calms at the touch of your hand.