i hate saying im not listening to anything. it makes me feel so uncool. WELL! We are getting a new car on the 16th. "HAL-LALUAH!" I am so psyched. I can finally get a job around here and stuff. Isn't that sad. I can't wait to have a job. In the past 2 weeks I have talked to Jim maybe 3 times because he keeps forgetting his phone at peoples houses. I was so mad at him when he did that the first time because we talk everynight and then just out of the blue he didnt answer his phone for 3 days so I freaked out and went on a thinking spree. I had the worst thoughts in my head as to why he wasnt answering the phone. And he did it again but this time I'm okay because now I know. Anyways. ... Yeah, so school starts this month and I think I'll stay in homestudies for the first semester or something. I really want to get on the soft ball team at the end of the year so I think that's when I'll go back. I'm afraid because ..you wouldnt think..well i wouldnt think that in one year everyone would change so much. In just one year. So it's like I don't know anyone anymore and I think I've developed like.. social anxiety. I get nervous and sick everytime I see people at school or church. I feel like no one wants to hear me talk or be around me. Like they have all these bad thoughts about me in their minds. And then I get on stage and sing and it all changes. I dont know.. I dont even sit with friends at church. I sit on the total opposite side with old people. I feel old.. and too mature for my own good. It is nice to hear people say I am really mature for my age but then I feel like I want to break through. Not go on a rebellious rampage but just let it all out and do something dangerously fun.. but that's not me so it wont happen. At least the dangerous part. And my turtle just tried to jump of the tub and scared the begeegees out of me.. *sneezE* *SNEEZE*.. ahhh * sneeze again* yeah i got 2 amphibious turtles.. their names are Crush and Squirt. real original, huh? THey were beny and june but .. since i love those turtles in finding nemo i just had to name them ..those names.yeah well i have to go get ready. later all j