I think I'm going to go to bed soon.. But I doubt it. I will stay here.. or ..there.. untill I fall off my chair to the floor and realize that I'm a loser for staying up so late. Then.. I bet I will just sit back down and feel that I cant go to sleep, when actually I can, but I just dont want to and look at my diary untill I see spots and make them out for comments or floating hippos.. All I did today was 3 things. Watch T.v..wait. 4 things. watch t.v., eat clam chowder, do some home work and the last thing i will not say becasue.. thats.. just. to .. yeah. get my drift. Tyler told me he loved me today. NO ITS not a big deal. Becasue it was meant in a friendly way. But I had to ask to make sure. He says "yes as a friend. dont take it so literal". wtf? Literal? okay. so you dont love me as a friend either? I tell my friends I love them becasue I love them. And it's litteral. He means, dont take it like I love you as in a lover's love. Got it. So I went on feeling stupid that I even went into it MAKING sure what exactly he meant. But it's better than assuming. So there. I know what he means. I just hope it will grow into something more down the road. I hate misconceptions or premisconceptions. They make you feel like a dumbass. But what do you do. Ask. Thats all you can do. I really miss Nick. It's crazy how he touched so many peopls lives. How does he do it? I wish I could be like that. My mom is yelling at me to bring the computer out of my room. "AYE THiOS MIO" she's so fucking dramatic sometimes. I bet she's shaking her foot right now from being stressed. What does she need to be stressed for? Im not putting my shit out there.. well. i am, but you know, not doing something i'll regret when some weird comes to my room and slits my throat open. yeah. -------update. *sits down* i jsut asked her what the fuck was her problem?? well.. we just had a little thing. 5 seconds ago. whatever. she just asked, "well do you want a parent right now?" wtf? i said i was just writing in my diary. Im not doing porno or someshit. "well, you had two days to bring the computer out" she says. "well, you werent here mother. so whats the problem?" "well im here now." I asked if she was jealous and she said she couldnt believe i asked that. well what the fuck then. sorry i like to write here. Im home alone for 3 days, what the fuck else am i susposed to do? eat icecream and shit my pants, and swat flies? .. Im just gonna wheel this thing out and get some pepsi.. i cant find a way to end this...