--4:30AM--, and it's so beautifully foggy outside right now it's making my heart weap. I just got back from work and I'm nice and sorely tired. I like aching and being physically exhausted. I'm not sure why, but I think it makes me feel like I've accomplished something. It means I've been able to do something productive with my hands. I like having that feeling. I usually feel like I do nothing beneficial for the world. But this fog, I think it's in my head also. Not a mental fog like when you can't think of something specific, more like I'm going around in my life with a thin haze surrounding everything. Occasionally there would be a spot of clarity, but for the most part, I'm in a fugue about what I am. My fog thickens. I'm a man who needs to love. I think I physiologically must have that 'someone' or I go insane. I go around thinking to myself, "Damn, I could be the perfect boyfriend for her," or variations of that. I can be so multifaceted and all-around that I can take a piece of her and expand on that and still be myself. It's not changing myself for her, it's still me, but I'll like it more because she does, she may be able to show me more about it than I'd imagine. She can lift my fog. --P.S.-- I don't think anybody took me seriously about calling me for shits and giggles. I may be boring, but my phone is always on for anybody. I'm thinking about taking it off here soon. I just don't know. -=Addendum=- --Goldfishes-- called me. I was so fucking surprised. It also made my week. Too bad I wasn't able to talk to her though, she sounds really groovy. I hope she'll marry me :P.