Write That Down

Feeling: narcissistic

Here's a story that I wrote in about 10 minutes on a napkin at a pizza shack after seeing an old man eating spaghetti alone. Don't ask, inspiration is a strange and fucked up mistress and I believe she makes me think I can write. This, I believe, is a crappy story with no point.

Age...

There’s nothing to do anymore. I wake up and lay in bed wishing that my Eleanor was still laying here with me. After I wake up I can’t move for close to 2 hours most times. Then the grim realization that I’m not going to die today sinks into my wrinkly ol’ head. It’s time to keep moving on and pretend that I can still function normally without her at my side. Breakfast tastes like dirt and the water feels like I’m drinking nothing at all. The sun is brown and nothing looks like life has even given it a second glance. I wish I could die but I can’t kill myself. I’m too chickenshit to even contemplate how I would do it. My grief is so great that it alone seems potent enough to take my life. My only solace in this mostly bleak world now has become Perrys, a pizza shanty down the corner from my new residence of an old folk’s home and it is my only source of human contact. There are hardly ever the same faces, and hardly anybody ever notices me. I don’t mind it though. I take comfort in the fact that other people are happy as I once was. I’ll be the first to admit my jealousy, but I would never dream of bringing my pain upon them. I’ll let them live their lives and in good time they’ll know my emptiness Eleanor once filled with such a love that I felt I would burst sideways. Alas, I wish I let her know more often the depth of my love for her. My subdued emotional habits belied my true feelings for her. And that in the end will be my greatest pain. I loved her. My situation is nothing new I know. I see the other geriatric zombies out there like me. They, like me, walk around aimlessly for hours at a time heedless of thought or weather and often end up in a place never visited before. They’re like the wandering dead searching for their lost souls. I weep for them, and then I weep harder for myself because I know I am them. I really think I’m dead to a certain point and it seems that those black-outs may be the only happy moments that I have left in my life.

~-=Quote Of The Day=-~ "Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more." --Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

Read 31 comments
Interesting
[Anonymous]
Hey i'm not dead ...you said if i clicked there i would die...o well... i guess your over people sitting on your face ...welll that's good
Here I am again, posting in your diary, just like everyone else. Heh, so much for being different. ttyl man.
[Anonymous]
You and Jon are too much alike. The strangest shit brings a story to mind. It's sickenning almost.

And isn't Eleanor the name you gave your mustang? I hope I'm wrong because if I'm not that story just got that more diturbing.

[Anonymous]
we're off to see the wizard !!!!!!!!!
Watch what?
The third breakfast?
Too late, it´s over and gone.

The cheerleading sounds like a good idea though.
I don´t have a clue what you look like but I still have a vision of you swinging the pompons.
Nice.
[Anonymous]
Maybe it could be about a sad little blonde girl with plaited pigtails who's only companions are her hive of bumblebees?

Or is that too many depressing stories already?

I'm in a really strange mood...


Me x x x
[Anonymous]
Awwwwwww! No fair!

Nekkid bumble bees?


Me x x x
[Anonymous]
Okay, you only actually have three less comments than me, and I only got mine cos I'm a sad bastard and have been on here nearly all day.

:-p

But thank you anyway.


Me x x x
[Anonymous]
Pointless is good.

But depressing, it would appear.


What was Moosey, is now me x x x
[Anonymous]
i have to say this is one AWESOME looking diary.
a couple of months ago i remember you saying you bought these two new books, i was just wondering what they were and if they happened to be any good. i'm too lazy to look thru all your entries until i find it. thanx man.
p.s. "what's an ass fuck?"

p.p.s. my girlfriend and i just saw donnie darko for the first time saturday morning. i'm a deprived child.
the story was good except it had your youthful cockiness in it and i made it hard to believe it was an old man at some points. but well written none the less. couldnt you wrip the wings off of demons instead?
OH before I go. wait to make this easier here is my e-mail mistress_tigress1@hotmail.com send your # to me through there and then I can call.
Cool I will get my ass in gear and head up there then. BBQ sounds like fun and I will get your number from you once I get there. Or I will try to call the bears best friend on my way out to let you know that I'm heading up there.
That was a great sorry for just off the top of your head and in only ten minutes time. You should post more of what you write.
i have seem to stumble across an amazing writer...its anything but a pointless story. It has a lot of meaning and I'm wondering how you came up with something like that at a Pizza place and in only 10 minutes....

o and I love the pictures on your page
*HELL

that story was super sad, and probably true, even though you don't know. I hate seeing old people eating at places by themself. I get so sad, and sympathetic, even though they probably don't want sympathy, they just want someone to talk too.
~janet
[Anonymous]
I would delete the Suck a Fuck comment, but as Donnie Darko says, "How exactly does one 'suck a fuck?'"
Yet more proof that people are stupid, rude, or just don't know how to stand up for themselves and hide behind anonymity. Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Cheers.
Suck a Fuck.
[Anonymous]
Hmm. Nice inspiration. hehe. ttyl.
[Anonymous]
inspiration is a stupid lost puppy that only makes its way to me half the time.

that's really quite sad though. i hate seeing lonely old people. If i could, i would buy takeout for that homeless old man under I-85 everyday..
i have enjoyed your story, although it probably was not as good as you eating your panties.

love ashley :)
[Anonymous]
Actually, brief writing exercises, where you write as much as you can in as little time, are supposed to be the best. You generally get a feel for what you really want to be writing, and then you can weed out the crap. LoL

~*Kristina
[Anonymous]
'chickenshit' should be used more often in fine literature.
Oh, sorry for the multiple comments but I'll be gone to war today and will not be able to talk to you. "Maybe Logic" was fucking GREAT!!! When I get back we have to watch it. Have a great weekend, I know I am :D
[Anonymous]
Well since everyone is writing positive comments i must break the trend....the story to me is horrible and depressing, hardly worth my time to pit patter on my keyboard to berate you, That good? LOL, nah thought it was good man, I thinki you may bein serious danger of prooving you are a decent fellow. By the way, how is your eleanor?
[Anonymous]
beastie boys rock

party on!
[Anonymous]
u are an awesome writer!!!
The way my warped little mind works, that actually made me sad. :oP Haha.

But then I read it again, and found the humor. So hopefully, no one else reads this while listening to damien rice.

~*Kristina
[Anonymous]
Oh Mister...the way you talked last night I thought you might not be a good writer but, here you go, proving yourself wrong. That story was so freakin' good. It made me feel a wide range of emotions. You should post everything you write. I will now crave it and you can't deny a craving.