i knew the response i would get...i mean who can be expected to just pick something back up after 3 years, especially without much of an assurance that it will work or that we'll ever get to see much of each other. but that's not it....if BOTH my brother AND sister can do it, overcome the distance and everything else, then why can't i? i can if we both gave it a try. i can't say i don't understand and all but....it's obviously a little upsetting. maybe i just hold onto things for too long. should i just let it go? he told me that keeping my feelings wasn't stupid though, not pointless. but why should he bend over backwards for such a piteous part of his current life? it's not worth the pain of it all...the recurrence of all the tears. yeah i get it..but why can't it be different. why do i have to be in like with a guy who won't share his feelings and who won't make it a point to be romantic..only when it's necessary. maybe it'd just be easier to forget.... ********edit*********** i feel like an indecisive idiot who hurts everyone she cares about and always says the wrong thing. unfortunately, like few people, she feels bad about saying the things that probably need to be said and then not getting anything back from it like she's expecting to. why am i talking to myself in the third person? is this even third person? heckifiknow.