i've been trying to avoid this sickeningly nervous feeling that used to be completely natural and lately has seemed rather foreign. however it is completely unavoidable..which i must say rather sucks. i can't even talk to a guy anymore without feeling scared about what he thinks.....what happened to me? i used to be so good at stuff like that? i keep sinking back into the hole of my past...and i can't get over patrick. but i have to try. after all...trying is worth something right? darn right. ok...here goes nothin...