i'm so happy to have my sister back home..at least for now. it makes me feel more complete. ryan's here (her bf) from high point(close to eldon). it's really great to have him here too..makes megan really happy. matt(my brother) and ashley(his gf) went to chicago this weekend and decided to come home tonight b/c of all the snow they got there. matt proposed to her this weekend in the aquarium..in front of the dolphins. the ring is really gorgeous. i played cards w/ mom, meg, and ryan tonight. it was great. i was finally forced to whip out my crazy laugh. lol. ******* ____________ ******* patrick is still ignoring me. great. i think it hurts even more to not talk to him. at least when we did talk i had the chance to give myself some reason to not like him anymore. now i just can't. it's even harder knowing that kelsey is going through the same thing. long distance things really do suck. and so i'm sitting here crying, listening to michelle branch, and drowning my sorrows in ice cream. "Goodbye To You" Of all the things I've believed in I just want to get it over with Tears form behind my eyes But I do not cry Counting the days that pass me by I've been searching deep down in my soul Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old It feels like I'm starting all over again The last three years were just pretend And I said, [Chorus:] Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything that I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to The one thing that I tried to hold on to I still get lost in your eyes And it seems that I can't live a day without you Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away To a place where I am blinded by the light But it's not right [Chorus] And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time I want what's yours and I want what's mine I want you But I'm not giving in this time [Chorus x2] And when the stars fall I will lie awake You're my shooting star **welp that song pretty much sums it all up. so why can't i just say goodbye?