hooray hoorah...my big event for the night was dinner with my family and then for ice cream. other than that i've pretty much sat at home all weekend long..even though i can drive. good side to the story: i got to spend some quality time w/ my brother...his gf is in eldon for the weekend...which was really great - everything he says is funny so i had plenty of cacophonal outbursts today. bad side: i've also found some serious issues with my life at the moment...i'm a teenager but the only things in my life to prove for it are my age and my crazy emotions. other than that i've pretty much already categorized myself as a young adult. doesn't that suck?! i was all too excited about getting a job, and all of a sudden doing my hw seems almost just as fun as watching t.v. that's a problem. i'm in serious need of a bf. scratch that...it would be wonderful to have a bf but i can get along without one. i don't mind being picky anymore. the way i see it, if i'm picky it just means that i have refined taste and if i settle for anything less than what i'd be happy with then i'm just cheating myself. something kind of hit me hard the other day. a guy in my s.s. and science class and i were talking and he was all excited b/c he had just asked a girl out and she said yes. then he asked if i had a bf and when i said no he was really surprised. one of those things that makes you think, man other people have more belief in me than i have in myself. then he told me that last year he wouldn't even talk to me because he thought i was a snob but then this year he realized i'm not. i try not to be snobby or anything..i just don't understand how some people work. like chucky, he's so mean and yet he appears to be just kinda joking around so you can't really take him too seriously. i'm trying to make friends with him. i'd rather do that than try ignoring him and having it get to me. i really really really want to work at petsmart. i'm really happy my sister is home again...i missed her. i really wish i was always happy. or at least had less of an attitude when it comes to my dad and less of a devout hatred to most of the things that make me mad "just because". i wish i had an older guy interested in me that didn't have to prove himself and that i could be happy with...some day. *i'm so tired of being inspired only when things slip away*