I wrote this in a frenzy yesterday....it switches person's alot haha....first I'm addressing him , then someone else... Why is it the hardest when you love someone? For some reason, whenever you are feeling so wonderful about someone, you can’t be honest. Whether or not you’re afraid of rejection or too embarrassed to be truthful with your feelings. Why does it seem that when you like or love someone, you have to be ashamed? And how is it that whenever someone finds out you like them, they get weird? Shouldn’t it be a compliment? Shouldn’t they be flattered that someone cares about them that much? And when you see them for the 1st time and they know, why is it an awkward moment? Or say they don’t know you like them, or you know they know and they know you like them but you’ve never completely said it? Why does that make it harder to be their friend? Or when you know that another girl is in the same position as you, she likes him but for some reason they are such better friends and hang out all the time? What happens when you are so in love with someone that you can’t help but think about them? And it hurts more than anything in the world that they don’t even think about you at all that way. It’s too frustrating when you know that there is literally no chance ever and it makes your heart hurt every single time you see them? Or if they’re in the same situation as you and you listen to them constantly about their problems, when you’re having your own, God forbid they’re ever discussed. And if you’re ever alone, why does it have to be weird? Why is it that whenever we talk, its about other people…it seems that’s all we have in common. Why is it that you try so hard to be his friend…for a whole year and it’s just so damn hard? And you know you are putting in so much more effort than him and it sucks because he doesn’t even care. And if it’s ever discussed, nothing gets accomplished at all. In one ear and out the other. All you want to do is yell their name all the time and you know you can’t because of what might happen. It’s really a sad world when you’re feelings for someone has to be hidden because you’re afraid of what someone else will say. What does it even matter? And why do I always hear these stories of people dating because they like each other’s personalities and not looks? Why can’t that ever happen to me? Why does the person I am so in love with feel these great feelings for this other girl who looks like a man? And he claims that it’s not her looks…. then what have I been doing for the past year? No one realizes how hard it is to try to look at someone you love as a friend. It’s worse that way and he knows exactly what I mean because he feels the same way about someone else. And why do I have to listen to everyone else’s complaints and I get no credit for it? I’m not one of those people that like to be in the shadows. Why is our friendship a secret? I know that it takes two people to have a relationship and I always blame myself, but why is it that for the past year we’ve gotten so close and no one knows it? Do I embarrass you? Why does everyone else in the world have to think I’m awesome for you to think it? And why is it that it is so hard for you to be my friend? I have never had any problems with anyone else loving me as a person…it must be you. It has to be. But why? Why do I have to be the person who chooses the person with no real emotion as a love interest? I must have no luck. But it’s not like I can help it. Why doesn’t he care? Why can’t he care as much as I do or at least know how much I care? I really wish just one day it would dawn on him. Why can’t life be like the movies? The dorky girl gets the man of her dreams…movies are so fake. Life doesn’t happen like that. Not even close. In real life, hearts are b r o k e n and can never be fixed. r0cking out of here, ~jean m/