so i reached an important phase in my life last nite... i realized that i am happy... truly happy... and that the small things i have been stressing over are just that... too small to even give a second thought too... if things are meant to be they will... i made a deal with my parents and my brother... more on that later... and i am satisfied... in my session yesterday... i discussed some of the things that had been bothering me... i have a problem being assertive... i can't tell a person how i feel... no matter how it is i feel at the moment... i can't tell a person what i need/want... but i am working on it... he also told me to try to have more fun and quit worrying about how everyone else seems to be making the worst decisions for themselves... let them worry he said.... i know i am not perfect... i've known that forever... but i just realized recently that i am allowed to make mistakes and i don't have to make excuses or even give reasons for the things i do... i am also entitled to MY time... in which i can do whatever i feel i need to... and if i am not comfortable in a situation i can get out... which is what i am gonna do... i am going to give someone else a chance to try to show me a new kind of way to love... i want to eventually fall in love some day but with someone who loves back... i am done with being a psuedo-girlfriend... i can be assertive about that... lol... i have to be before that part of my life consumes me... never again will i be with someone who doesn't love me... or at least willing to try... i know he's out there... it's just a matter of time... and yes, a little more effort on my part... no more being insensitive and mean... or last trying to cut down... lol i'm going to borrow a phrase my friend has on his sn profile... "i wish things were different, but i know they will never be the same" i've said words close to those too many times the last few months... i am finished... i don't want things to be different and i am glad they will never be the same... why? it doesnt' need to be... ok well now i am going home... to be with my family... i love saying that i miss them so much right now... my daddy's birthday is this weekend (well monday but whatever) he is going to be 81... i love my daddy... he's a one of a kind... my mom's not too bad either... ;) anyways... i get to go be the daughter of a very important man this weekend... yay fundraisers!!! eh at least i get to dress up and wear the jewelry my mom won't let me take to school... lol... such a spoiled brat... i know... ok so Happy Easter to all!!! and God bless!!! ciao...