but feeling better... yeah the food i have been trying to digest today wasn't in my favor... eh... i talked to Steph today... tomorrow is her 22nd birthday and she's excited i guess... she thinks i am handling the suanne thing too well... i don't... if i were completely ok with it i wouldn't be writing about it in here so often... oh well... what else can i do... not bitch at joey about it... because it ISN'T his fault... in any way... anyways he already feels bad for his own reasons... i don't completely understand all the time... he says i deserve better than him... but i've been looking for a while and have yet to find anyone remotely close to being imagineabley better than he's been to me... here's my list of examples... 1. he hasn't lied to me 2. he hasn't cheated on me 3. he hasn't hit me 4. he hasn't left me 5. he respects me 6. he loves me 7. he believes in me... now how can anyone compete with any of that... that's not all mind you... but those are some of the good... i just wish i could be more deserving of him sometimes... i know that i try and that's alot more than some do... but i could always do better... til then... he's stuck with me... gotta go call him now... it's time... lol yes we have a designated time no matter what we are doing this is our time... ciao tell u more later...