that's a good word... hollow... i tried apologizing for all the shit i told joey... in our last arguement... he said he appreciated it... but now he doesn't want us to be friends... why was it that when i wanted that he couldn't understand but now it suddenly is going to happen... anyways i am not going to tell him i think i am... i am just gonna deal... women have been doing it for years... why not me... i am getting good at the pretending tho... i can smile and laugh with the best of them... but i have to accept that joey is dead to me now... he chose it that way... u can't bring the dead back so why should i try with him... i can't promise this is the last entry that mentions him... but i can promise that i am not gonna call him again for chit chat like he said... i buried him tonite...