i hate the fact that he says he still loves me... and he apologized for saying it and admitted he was an ass for saying it, but if he means it what can i do... why why why... i discussed the at home with him and he is adamant about being a part of this if there's a this to be a part of... i tried to explain how against it i am but he is just as sure it's the right thing as i am sure it's the wrong... and as much as i want to say that i want him out of my life for ever i know that i can't imagine living without him in it... and i know people break up all the fucking time and no one ever dies from it but this is seriously the hardest thing i've ever done... giving up on joey... i can't do it but i know i have to... its bad enough feeling pathetic and stupid but knowing that other people see u this way sux even more... he says i can call him whenever i want and he's still there for me... but how wrong is that??? calling my problem to complain about it... and even tho i know he says i couldnt' have been a more perfect girlfriend... i feel like such a failure... and now i find out it's been going on with him this feeling longer than i could have ever imagined... i hope more than anything else in the world that he's wrong and he sees it soon... because i can't imagine living without him and the way things are going that's the only i can... that's my only option right now... is him not being in my life bc the reminder of him in it hurts oh so much... how blind i was... how stupid i am... how alone and empty i feel...