this weekend was supposed to have been perfect... i had asked joey what he wanted for his birthday... he said a corvette... so i called up an old friend and got him one for the weekend... but like trial and error has proven... i didn't see joey once all weekend... Friday he cancelled on me... Saturday he just forgot and was doing something else when i called him... and i know that i should tell him how much it hurts, but i can't... i just can't... one reason is because we'd already talked about it and he said he was gonna try... but i guess he just forgot... i feel so horrible right now... and the worst part about it is that i am hiding it from him because i just dont' think he cares... i know he thinks he does... but, and i hate to say it, i don't think he does... there are so many things going through my head right now... but the only thing that can seem to make it out are the tears... and i hate girls who cry... i know that i wouldn't be alive right now if it hadn't been for Maria tho... she saved my life last nite... i blacked out... from having drunk too much... and she kept me from doing stupider shit than i already was... my little brother helped me too... and he doesn't realize it but i am gonna miss him soooooo much when he's gone... well i gotta go decide what i am gonna do... i'm probably just gonna tell him that i am glad he had a good time and all that... and i am gonna be the girl who doens't cry bitch or complain about how his friends have seen him more than i have... and how it doesn't bother me that i have never felt this helpless and incompetent... ok gotta go pretend to be ok... still debating on whether this is going to be a private one or not...