ok it's later... he just left a little bit ago... i wasn't gonna let him see me cry and compared to how much i am crying now he really didn't... i called terry tho... he was just like "sooo how long did you cry before you called me?" and i told him about 5 mins... i told him to make joey call me when he got home and he said he would... i know why i am crying but i don't at the same time... i'm gonna try to explain and maybe stop for a little... crying i mean... ok... most of me is still smiling because i got the chance to spend so much time with joey... but a part of me feels so empty right now... just because i felt so complete with him here with me and now that he isn't it's like something is missing... but at the same time i know that he'll never truly not be with me... like his love, our love, is so strong that it wouldn't matter if he were on a different planet, i could feel it... wow i didnt' cry while i wrote any of that... and they're back... i just wish that there were an easier way to be together... physically i mean... i want to wake up to him being there with me every day... and i want to feel his arms wrapped around me at nite, reassuring me that i am safe with him... like i wrote earlier... we talked about getting married again... but didn't make any definite decision... i mean we are going to... just don't know when... and it's not that crucial at the moment... and if everything worked the way it was supposed to (which it did) it won't become an issue... we did talk about kids tho... lol... well... yeah that's about it about that... we're not having more than 2 or 3 (and that's pushing it too) so there!!! wow this new video just came on... "you do your thing (i'll do mine)" by montgomery gentry... i think that's the name of it... the lyrics are sooo good and moving... and now Shedaisy "come home soon" is on and i gotta go cry again... i am just scared that something horrible might happen to him and that i wont' have any way to do anything to help him... and if it did i'd be alone without him forever... but i didn't say goodbye, i just said i'd talk to him later... because i refuse to say goodbye to him ever... ok i am done for now... i will write more when i get home... I love you Joey!!!