i lay awake at nite... i don't sleep anymore because i am scared of what the dark may have waiting for me... i wish i could run away from this place... but i can't even define what about it hurts so much... i am just scared and alone... maybe that's what it is... that regardless of all that surrounds me... i am still alone... and even tho i have never felt closer to anyone in my life like i do with joey... i wonder if he will understand... or just think i am an ungrateful brat stuck on what she thinks she needs instead of what she has... can anyone understand? how can i, of all people, complain... i have a wonderful boyfriend, a good family, a few good friends (dwindling down as we speak) and good health for the most part... i don't need anything... and i am in school... what else could i want? what is it? i feel this emptiness sometimes that nothing seems to be able to fill... actually it is almost always there... maybe one day it'll go away...