it snuck up on me y'all... and i am not completely clear on it all... here's the story... well a couple nights ago i met a boy... his name is Chad... he has completely swept me off the feet i thought i'd gotten knocked off of... and it's not just a rebound thing... i don't know what it is... we spoke on the phone for 5 and a half hours... when he could of just come over... instead we talked... about some deep shit too... it's just so new and i don't know what to think... he's great... and that SCARES me... isn't it too early for me to feel strongly in anyway about anybody... but a part of me feels almost at peace... it's awesome!!! even if i am not destined to be in love with chad... he's given my heart new hope... that the ability to heal is there... and i will heal... slowly but for sure completely... i told him things i'd never told any other human being before (not even joey) and i felt ok telling him those things... and i like how talking about him and with him makes me feel... wow i am creeped out... but the scary part is that he is too (wierdly attracted to me too i mean) like it feels like we've known each other for years and we've been i don't know dating for years... i like it... he's a godsend... not sure for what purpose just yet but a godsend for sure!!! Wow... i feel giddy almost nauseas just thinking that he's coming over for dinner after work tomorrow and having dinner... what's wrong with me y'all... have i completely lost it??? well gonna try to sleep now... he just went to sleep too... wow tho... really wow... ahhhhhhhhh what am i doing??? Not being scared!!! that's what...