*Ive tried so hard to tell myself that your gone but thought your still with me Ive been alone all alone.... When you cried Id wipe away all of your tears when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears I've held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me....* I dont know whats wrong with me. I feel so... gone so unreal so not here, i have songz stuck in my head that remind me of nick and i hate it...almost as much as i hate him. I feel like im goin to cry and i dont know why i have a lump in my throat that just cant seem to go away. I wish i could cry. I wish I could let it all out, but I can't and I won't. Its like something holds me back when i get up the nerve to do it. I dont understand... nothing I do seems to be enough... My dad told me he wished I would get back into basketball so I do. Does it make me feel better about myself? No, it doesn't... I guess I'm just desperatly trying to please my father. I don't understand why. He knows I love track and running but still I try to impress him. I can't seem to plz anybody.... especially myself. I was really hurt today by Alyssa she changes everytime Christina is around. I hate being around her when Chris is.... maybe I'm selfish I just wish i understood. ~*Libby*~