I feel so utterly alone its kinda scary... i dont know why i feel dis way i mean i got ppl who "love" and "care bout me" and yes i put it in quotes cuz sometimes im not so sure ya know sometimes it feels like no one cares or love me not even my closest gurlz and theyre like my sisters but its like i dont feel them nemore i know dat sounds weird but like a lil bit ago when i first got real close with them late at nite i could like feel their presence i know dat sounds weird too but i could i guess maybe it was like weird esp or some shit like dat and today i was talkin to nanu and he was actin like a total ass hole i hate when he does that like if i say hi and if amanda *his girlfriend* is newhere near he completly ignores me he use to hug me and stuff in da hallz sometimes but now he dont even if i was feelin really sad and asked him for a hug hed probably just tell me to fuck off or somethin it really scares me how hes changed so much he use to really care and wasnt so completly fuckin fake i hate da way he acts now sometimes i feel like i have to beg for him to even say hello to me i hate the way he is now he use to be so caring i mean 2 yrs ago when i first met him i loved him to death and now i hate bein around him and if i dont smile at him every fuckin time i see him he worries bout me so what he acts like i dont exist so why do i have to smile at him? and itd also be totally different if he acted dis way towards everybody and not just me no one understands how it is to be utterly alone my fake brother even fuckin deserted me :'(