*sigh* When did my world flip upside down on me?! Honstely? And furthermore, since when did I start caring about it. *sits down and begins to think* First, I don't know why, but I have a fear of letting people get to know me too well. Frankly, I've been like that for years. With the exception of my family, I just like to keep myself seperate from others. So, I act whacky and stupid to let others think I'm an idiot. And at times...saddly...I am that big of an idiot. Normally, that suits me fine. But two friends know me better than I thought or cared to let on. And while I may argue with a couple of their points, they hit me on the head with how good they knew me. Grrrr...either I'm letting my guard down or I'm too easy to read. Although, there is one person I would like to get to know me 250%....*turns away blushing*... *beats head against desk* UGH! I broke out blushing during Creative Writing today!!! I was working on a picture of Katt (also known as 'Rose'), the girlfriend of my newest character, Vincent. She's a beautiful, tomboyish catgirl who is Vincent's mechanic/boss.*Looks off whistling* Honestly, I don't know where the inspiration for her came from. Anyways, Vince is this geeky genious, but anytime he comes across something he can't fix, or just wants to see her, he'll bring her the piece. She get into her little outfit and amazes this loser with her mad skills. And she's so smart, funny, beautifully adorable...*sighs, blushing a little*...er...well...yeah... *looks around* Yeah...well, Rob is finally back to talking to me. Heh...about time. That's the longest he's gone without speaking to me, it was weird. Oh well. A few of my 'friends' still aren't speaking with me. Especially now that I dropped the movie project. Yeah, I know I shouldn't drop obligations, but there are a few conflicting interests with this particular project. Most noteably rehershal times and one of the guys working on it. I'm not a violent person, but everytime he talks to me, I just want to tear off his head. Compared to him, Bradon Runyon looks like he's my best friend. Anyways, that's all on that end. *smiles some* You know...I've talked about having a bad month for a few days now, but I think I'm just saying that because it's forcing me to think. And like Sprite said in her own unique fashion yesterday (or at least this is what I hope she was saying, otherwise I'm a bigger idiot/loser than I thought), I can't be afraid to accept the way things are going to go. Either that or build a time machine and relive the last year for as long as I want. But for once, everyone's lovable Senji is thinking in terms of reality. I mean...I realized that maybe I need to get my priorities straight this past weekend. I had a chance to buy as much anime as I desired, but I only bought three....only three! That may not mean anything to most of you, but that is different for me. I mean...I'm tired of always watching other's being happy or watching a silly cartoon paradise. Don't get me wrong. I love my anime, but I want to be the one saying I love you to the girl that's stealing hearts. Heh...wow...that sounded cornier than I thought, but it's true. So many friends, but know one around that those three words can mean something to, at least none that I know of. Then again...I'm known to be blind at times... *sniffs a little, rubbing eyes* Damn, I'm getting to myself again. That's twice in the last week. *beats head against desk again* GOT...TO...STOP...!! *sigh* Anyways, I'm going to leave for a while. There are the lyrics to this song that I've been listening to a lot lately. It's called 30,000 Feet. Basically, this man is calling his wife because...we'll the lyrics will explain that (Yeah, the song ends completely adburbtly). It makes me realize how short life can be and how we should tell those we love that we love and cherish them everyday. And to those of you out there lucky enough to know true love, cherish it and hold onto it for as long as you can. *sighs* Great...now I'm getting all teary eyed. This is everyone's favorite streetwalking Senji-ku signing off, saying ja mata and catch ya on the flipside... Hello, if you're there pick up the phone I'm calling from 30,000 feet above you The captain's just informed us that our plane is going down So I'm calling for one last time to say I love you I'm not certain how much time I may have left, so I'll be brief I'm sorry if this message only amplifies your grief But I couldn't bear the burden of never having said goodbye And the pain you feel, I promise you, will go away with time I'm sorry I wont be there to see our children grow Please tell them that I loved them more than they will ever know Tell my family and friends how much I loved them all as well I'm sure that we will meet again, but only time will tell I'm sorry most of all I wont be there when you grow old To be there by your side and keep you warm when you are cold Forgive me, but I think my time is drawing to a close So I've one last thing to tell you now before I have to go I--