*steps back, covered in dirt and wipes the sweat from my face* There...done. I've just buried every last piece of my broken heart and soul in places that no one can find them. Only Jess has 4 of the remaining pieces, 1 cause I gave it to her and 3 cause she's far too stubborn for me to best. Speaking of her, she stole my shovel. Ihad to dig and burry these things by hand. Thanks, Belldandy. *sigh*I've been crying for the last hour. No, not this weeping, "woe is me" balling...but just a steady stream of tears that won't stop. It's all because I failed. I'm tired of peopling seeing what I'm only the surface. There are only two people that can honestly see me and respect me as am. One I just finally got to speak to tonight/last night. We actually got to talk without restriction, really open to one another. It was the first time in a long time. The other...the other...*sniffs*...the other, no matter how much she says other wise, is shutting me out. There's only so much I can do as a friend and a wall. I actually fell out of my chair this morning and cursed myself out after all of this. I want to be strong for them, friends and family alike. But I can't find that strength anymore. My heart, as one friend pointed, needs to be scarred to find its strength and love. But I'm not as strong as those I love and want to protect. My heart shattered. I just don't have the strength to pick back up the pieces and duct tape it back together. That's why the pieces are burried. They can rot for all I care! *sniffs, drying eyes* That's enough from me. It's 1:13 am and I have to be up early to go to the new house and stuff. So, I'm off to bed. G`night. Unitl our paths cross again. Random Quote: No quote. Instead something different. As any know...I'm not a religous man. I should be, but I am not. So, take no offense to this, but I wish to end tonight with this: God, may you look after my loved ones and give them the strength to move forward with each new day. May you grant them the strength to find what makes them truly happy and protect them in ways that I have failed to do so. I ask for nothing for myself but the peace of mind that I know they are cared for, happy and without sorrow in their lives. Ahmen.