Hey there, gang. I’m terribly sorry for not being around as much as I should have been lately. It’s been nearly 2 months (exactly 2 months come this Friday) since my last confession here. Heh...that’s what I’ve come to want to call this little entries. I feel I can call them that because no matter what I say here, I feel that possibly someone of meaning wills stumble across these and understand what I’m saying. It is in that remote moment of understanding, or the thought there of, that I find myself at peace. But before I try to bring any peace to what’s going on in my head, let me bring you up to speed on what I wrote in my last entry here: I WAS PLAYED LIKE A FINELY TUNED VIOLIN! Yup, you read it correctly. The whole fucking, pardon my language, was staged. The girl was never attacked. She never lost her memory. It was an accident. She twisted it all around to make those around her dance like stringed puppets for her amusement. In the center of it all was me. I was ready to go to bat for someone I thought was a dear friend only to find out in the end that I had the shroud of deceit placed over my eyes the entire time. I digress, though. It is done and over, a month of my life I’ll never get back, and there is nothing I can do to the contrary. No matter how angry I am, or how much I type, I still will have been played. All I can do is stick to my resolve to never let it happen again. Now, where was I...? Oh yes, my peace of mind. First, let me point out to anyone that cares, my year is almost over. May 28th, 2005 marked the first day of my year off. No worries about working or college, just a relaxing vacation. I recommend it to anyone about to graduate high school. Unless you’re on a probation like scholar ship (you have to use it in a set amount of time) or being forced by your parents/guardians to attend...take the time off! You’ve just spent 12 years of your life (14 if you count preschool and kindergarten) in classes, seven hours a day at five days a week. You need the time to make sure you know what you’re going to want to do with your life, to make sure you choose the paths with the least regrets. And thusly, that brings up my own path. I’ve always had one dream in mind: go to a fancy art college and become lead artist on a Spider-Man series, eventually becoming Editor-In-Chief of Marvel Comics. Lol...I’d also intended on doing all that by time I was 22. Well, folks, I’m 19 and have my “artistic talents” wrapped up in mainly anime/manga related works anymore. I love the art style and I love the technical prowess that comes with the job. Now, do I still see myself going to college anymore? *shakes head* No. Is that the absolutely best idea in the world? Probably not. I’m not saying that college isn’t in my future, I’ll more than likely take some summer courses this summer at USI. I’m just saying that, right now, if I’m to expand as an “artist”...I need to do it on my own time and at my own pace. I don’t need a college professor breathing down my neck for deadlines and themes. I just need to take it as it comes. And speaking of taking things as they come and expanding my “art”, I’m going to attempt to break away from anime/manga/comic work solely. The last, and only time, I’d ever done this when it wasn’t for a grade was a few months back. I’d done a piece as a surprise for someone rather special and I don’t think I did too bad at it. It was a piece I’d tried to do as realistically/semi-realistically like her as possible on my “talent”. I liked it and I hope she did as well. I was digging through some old sci-fi magazines and found some Star Trek pictures I’d like to draw of the cast. I figured I’m a Trekkie before anything else, might as well start there. ^_^ Now, before anyone jumps to conclusions, I said “solely”. That means I’ll still be doing what people have come to expect of me and my sketch book. Red Dawn and X~Cin~X still remain my top priorities as they are my babies. Well, RD is a joint custody with Belldandy and Sprite, the co-creators and primary writers. Lets see...I’ve talked about college, projects and my “art”. Those are three of the four things that have been weighing heavily on my mind as of late. The fourth one is somewhat more trickier to talk about. It isn’t so much something that can be talked about as it is something that can just be realized and let alone. Heh...I've edited this part 4 times now, and I still can word it properly. So, never mind I guess... *Sighs and looks at the time* It’s 3:00 AM here, ladies and gents. I suggest we all head to sleep. Live long and prosper...