Well, it's 4 something in the morning in this so-so city we call home. I got back from running around 2~2:12 and have been lying in bed, just staring at my diploma. Well, I took a nice, long shower first, but I've been staring at that little piece of paper for a while now. All my ambitions coming flooding into me like a mini-typhoon (Vash and it not related...*sighs*...bad anime-refrenced joke...). I realized that in all that I had failed to accomplish, I never thanked or reconized personally those that trully mattered to me. I mean, yeah...I've already thanked my family...but what about those very few others that have affected my life? Do they not deserve my thanks, no matter how worthless the thanks may be? A wise person once said, "There is no harder thing to say than Thank you or I love you and be truly honest..." Well, in no particular order (Although, the ones that matter most to me are saved for last thanks), I feel its time to thank some people...even if they'll never see the words... Bailey:You, man, were a constant motivation to me. Well, I use the term motivation, but it was more like inspiration. I, up until coming to Harrison, never knew anyone who loved to draw anime/manga as much as I did, let alone wanted to do it as a profession. Yet there you were. And since day one of sophmore year, I've constantly been in your shadow. As a friend, I couldn't ask for a better man to have my back. As a rival...I've never been so tired of being engulfed by a living shadow. That choking sensation I get from being compared to you has been a constant inspiration to not become a better artist than you, as that'll never happen, but to find a level or platue that would keep others from comparing me to you. Our styles may never have merged well with one another, our ideas sure did. Hopefully we'll get to work on a project one day, my friend. Who knows...maybe it might be for one of the "Big 3" or Tokyopop. Heh...we can dream, right? Paula/Sprite:...You were the easiest person to read that I've ever met, Paula. No matter how nice I tried to be, you always gave off that feeling of hatred towards me. Well, maybe not hatred persay, but a large dislike. Lets be honest about it. And while I'll always like you and consider you a dear friend, I can't help but thank you for something you did for me. While Jess and a few others made me proud of being who and what I am, you always had me questioning it. Right there at the very end, I kept finding myself falling into this false security of those around me. I found myself trusting more and more, finally coming out of the "shell". But good ol` Paula, you were there to keep me on my toes. You always made me realize that I was about to graduate and kept pushing me forward while all I wanted to do was stay and hold on. And while I should embrace the fact that I was leaving that superficial hell-hole, I must be aware that the real world was waiting at the light at the end of the hole. *hugs* Tsk-tsk...while you may not like Dragon Ball Z...you'll never realize how much you have in common with Vegeta... Ian:Mr. Cole...the guy that made me appreciate a sword before a gun. Lol. You know...I thank my love for dark and angsty anime comes from the years of friendship with you, Ian. And I still say you're going for the Wesley Snipes/Blade look. *shakes head* Ah, you and Carmon really helped make the senior year go by quickly. I don't know rather to shake your hand for that or give you a swift kick in the balls for it. Heh...either way, thanks for just being there when I needed it, especially when it came to O`Tain. You are one of the few guys I'd want to have my back if I ever got into a fight. You can definitely tell what kind of a man a person is by how clearly they show their lines of loyalty. Nothing is ever blurred with you, Mr. Cole. It's either all or nothing. I respect that...I really do. Ashley/Little Rose:Ash...you are, simply put, an angel. Rather or not you believe it is up to you, but I feel that way as do many others. You were the first person in ages to make me feel loved. Yes, it hurt that night at the concert, but part of me...I guess...still was crushing on you. I still wanted to prove myself to you. Lol...I still am. I have to thank you for getting me started in pushing myself to become a better person in the fact that I burried everything beneath a pile of weights and hours of running. I am doing everything I can to be a better person and in the meanwhile you have become one of my close friends. I've told you things I've either only told Jess or told no one at all. It takes a lot for me to like a person enough to be considered a friend, it takes an aweful lot more for me to trust that person. Well...I trust you. So, I guess that says a little, doesn't it? ^_^ Erika/Bob and Trey/Tofu:Well, when I first came to Harrison, there was only a few people that'd actually talk to me, let alone befriend me, outside of the old friends I had there. The first of them was you, Trey. I was never very good in Japanese, but you always made me enjoy the class, man. Lol...I cannot tell you how many bad days I had that were turn upside down with a noisey little "Samurai v. Ninja" debate. I still say the samurai will take it, man. And while we might have become a bit distant this last year, you better stay in touch. I don't care if you go to Siberia, you find a phone or internet connection, got it?! And Erika...Bobby-gurl...heh...you sure are an interesting one, girlie. It was a definite pleasure getting to know you this last semester of high school. I don't say this often, well...mostly because it'd get me slapped otherwise, but I don't think a guy could ever ask for a better "trohpy wife". Lol...that trip was hilarious. We ought to do it again sometime. Thanks, Bob, for being there to make me laugh and showing me that penguins eternally rock. *whispers and winks* Don't forget what I said on the last day you saw me at school...if Try gives you any headaches, call me. A fat samuraican squash a scrawny ninja any day of the week. *laughs* Kaitlin:The living yaoi-mistress herself. I know that you've never truly cared that much for me, but I always liked you. And getting to talk to you for a while after school a few times and the couple times you were able to stick around for anime club, you are quite possibly the most unique and coolest people I've ever had the privilage of knowing. Smart, funny, cute and a knowledge of anime that rivals mine...*Sighs*...you have absolutely no idea how hard it was for me not to go total fanboy around you. I think I've only bitten my tongue so hard only around Jess. But why am I saying thanks to you? Well, hanging around you and joking around, you are one of only two people to ever make me glad to be myself. Lets be honest...fat, anime/manga fan, and a nerd...that's three very large strikes going against me. Yet, I always felt comfortable around you, like I could say and do whatever I wanted and that'd be ok, you know? Heh...it sounds weird trying to say, but thanks anyways, Kaitlin. Kei and Erin:Mr. K!!!!!!!! How I miss your songs already!! *weeps* Lol...*sigh*...My old friend, you were right there along side Ian and Trey. You three were what made my days in Japanese class awesome. It's no excuse,Kei, but I was a real jerk in those early days. You are so damn cooler than Vash or Spike could ever be! I mean that, honestly. You were the coolest guy I'd met at Harrison in those days, and you still are. *goes back to whispering* Man, I've never told anyone this...but...I'd always secretly wished to be half as cool as you were. I really looked up to you, Kei, and I still do. And no...not because of our height differences either. You will always be one of my best friends. And you really made anime club rock, I was glad to be president. And Lady Erin...*bows*. You called me a sweetheart, but alas, you flatter me all too much. You are the sweetheart. Very few people can ever make me smile without forcing it out of me...yet you did so. Thanks. And...well...I apologize for the dweebs in the club. They can be real perves. Then again, most anime fans are. It's a sad reality. Lol...anyways, thanks for making this old dog smile, for coming to anime club and for putting up with those losers. Jess/Belldandy/Kirei/Bella...: Well, I had to save the best for last, Jess. You and I both know I could go on forever on what I'm about to say, and it's in that that I want to keep this to be as direct as I can be. Well...in that sentence alone I've proved an impossibility...I can't be direct. Lol...but I'll try. With one word...Sango...I just wanted to get the attention of this quiet, beautiful young woman that sat three rows over from me in 2nd period. I just wanted to get noticed by her. Well, I got noticed, and in the process I got the greatest friend a guy could ask for. In the time I've gotten to know you, I've gotten to know myself as well. You were the first person to actually make me proud to be a fanboy and an artist. Before, I was only those because I could escape into those fantasy worlds and find a safe solitude. But now, I want to be open and put myself on the line to find what will make me truly happy. I was able to rediscover the true meaning of a friend, a confidant(sp?), and just an ear to have listen. It was amazing. I'll miss the way you could turn my days around. I'll miss our "secret" conversations during earth science videos. I'll miss the way you tried getting into my head, Doc Chiku. Frankly...I'll just miss you, Miss Jess. You were the first person I realized that I'd miss upon graduation. I mean, we'd stay in touch online and stuff. Then I realized why. I'd never let anyone get to me like you did. I've told you my fears, my dreams...the basics of what makes me me...for some reason. Well, not for "some reason", but because I trust you. You are my best friend, Belldandy. I realized that I wasn't leaving behind just any friend when I walked across the stage that night. I was leaving behind the one that really meant a lot. And God...there aren't any words to express my thanks to you, Jess. My thanks for you being there when I needed you, for befriending this loser, or for making me proud of being who I am. I know we'll stay in touch, maybe not as much as either would like, but we will. But there isn't anything quite like seeing that beautiful smile of yours everyday during second period. Be it from just being in a good mood or for seeing HIM, you really made a lot of peoples' days by just merely smiling. *pokes* That's what I meant by a "smile that could light up the sky". So...yeah...thanks, Jess. *hugs and holds on tight for a few minutes cause he can, then lets go* Thanks for everything. *wipes away some tears* Theres so much more I want to say to each and every one of you, but you all have your lives to live and don't need my words bothering. One day, I'll tell you all in full detail how much you mean to me. Hell...maybe I'll even tell my crush how much she means to me. And, while she may like another guy, I still want her to know my feelings. I just...want them off my chest. *yawns and wipes a few more tears* Well, I'm going to go. I'm actually going to get some sleep. Heh...hey Belldandy and Little Rose...how about that? Your Senji-ku actually turning in for a few zs?! Lol...must be the end of the world. Well, it's also Friday, which means pool,twice as much excersising and shopping. So, I'll talk to you all later or tomorrow...which ever comes first. So, until our paths cross again, this is everyone's favorite baka futori haisha Senji-ku signing off, saying ja mata and catch ya on the flipside.