i cant take this anymore... i cant sleep... when i do, it doesnt last long... im not eating right im crying in school and at home... and at night before i 'sleep'... i dream of her... then i wake up all pissed off because it's not real and i know it probably never will be... then, during the day, i think of her...i day dream about her... i write letters to her that will never be sent... and i cant concentrate on much of anything for very long... i dont know how much more if this i can take... its like theres a battle going on inside my mind...and i dont know which side to believe anymore... one of them is all "its over, just give up." and the other side is like "its not over." "but it is." "but it isn't." "just give up. shes gone." "she'll come back for me." "she wont." "she will." "she WONT. shes gone, and she's never coming back." "you're wrong." "shes going to foerget all about you, and you're going to spend the rest of your life clinging to a false hope. GET OVER IT." "she'll come back for me. its just going to take some time." "you're going to get your heart broken." ".......my hearts already broken..." ********************************************** i went to a football game with lexie today. that was actually pretty intersting. our team won, which NEVER happens, lmao. barry says im good luck. yeah, and my phone would NOT stop ringing. figures that no one ever calls me until i go somewhere. soooo yeah, it rang like literally 10 times, lmao. anyway...thats about it, so...im out. ********************************************** i have no idea what to do right now...im at a complete loss for anything... i fucked up...i fucked up... what if she hates me? .......what do i do now?