so many thoughts going around in my head right now...i have so much to say that i dont even know where to begin... and yet...i have nothing to say at all. nothing of relevance anyway...anything important i have to say can't be said, so i must stick with the trivial things that no one honestly cares about anyway... i had my summer reading test today. i managed to bullshit my way through 3 pages of writing. actually, i think i did pretty well. and barry got threatened today, lol. we were walking down the hall, and ali walked by (the girl from my last entry) and barry was like "ali i love you!" and she just kinda smiled and waved, and sean, who was walking with her was like "NO YOU DONT! ILL KILL YOU!" lmao, seans so awesome. and i saw the corpse bride tonight. pretty cool movie. not in the same league as nightmare before christmas though...but nevertheless, an awesome movie. i can kind of see myself in victor...or maybe i can see more of victor in myself? i dont know, but...im kind of like him in a way...alot of ways really... and his situation is, in some ways, what i fear above all else...no, im not afraid of marrying a corpse...actually, that would be cool, lol. its the less complex version of what he does... and yet, what i seem to be spirialing down towards...running towards, in fact. in some ways i cant wait for it, but in other ways i dread every bit of it... i dont even know if it would ever happen really. the likelyhood of it is slim to none. which, im clinging to that hope, i dont want it to happen. but in some ways...i do. i really, really do. i cant wait for it. i want the immense pain that goes along with it...i want it, i crave it... i want to feel alive again...even if it is nothing but an intense, blinding pain...at least its something. sorry...im in a weird mood. corpse bride seems to have depressed me severely.